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Old 13-01-20, 08:38 AM   #7881
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Default Re: Gripe of the day - What is yours?

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looks like i'm headed down a similar route to mav. Struggling to deal with it atm.


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not good! Don't get into a hole.
If your struggling to cope go see your doctor. I'm talking from experience of having a near total breakdown

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Old 13-01-20, 10:01 AM   #7882
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Default Re: Gripe of the day - What is yours?

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Looks like I'm headed down a similar route to Mav. Struggling to deal with it atm.

As someone who went through this 20 years ago, I can fully empathise and I'm truly sorry for your situation. I still look back on it and wonder: "what if...?"
The only suggestion I can offer is the same as my old manager told me: Don't make any life changing decisions until 6 months have elapsed. I was ready to quit my job and return to the UK but he convinced me to wait. It's a bleak period you're in but it will get better.

I found it helped to talk to people - I was a field engineer and my customers knew all the details of what was happening - that'll teach them to ask how I was doing, they didn't expect to be told! Helped me enormously, though.
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Old 13-01-20, 11:08 AM   #7883
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Default Re: Gripe of the day - What is yours?

Gary, not sure what to say.

All the best.
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Old 13-01-20, 11:24 AM   #7884
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Default Re: Gripe of the day - What is yours?

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As someone who went through this 20 years ago ...

The only suggestion I can offer is the same as my old manager told me: Don't make any life changing decisions until 6 months have elapsed.
Same here, unfortunately for me it came at the same time as moving house/jobs/country, my sanity took a hell of a beating for several months. I know I'm not the same person I was before this happened. I think I'd have handled it better if there hadn't been so much other change going on at the same time.

There may be a bad time ahead, but with the support of friends and family you'll get through it. You're a top bloke and have many people wishing you well.

Talk, it may not feel like it's helping, but it does. Don't be scared to show/voice your feelings, those that matter will understand and support.

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Old 13-01-20, 05:13 PM   #7885
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Default Re: Gripe of the day - What is yours?

Thanks to everyone of you for your supportive comments. It means a huge amount to me. I read most of them while I was having a coffee break in a cafe in Welshpool and I had to hide my face while reading them as I didn't really want to be dealing with other customers asking if I was ok.

The next two or three months are going to be difficult. We will carry on in the same house until my daughters finish college in order to minimise disruption to them. My wife is then going to live in Shrewsbury while we deal with divorce proceedings. We're not getting solicitors involved as the house we are in here is rented and we have no shared material possessions of any value. I'm staying here as I don't want to live anywhere else, she wants to live in town (my worst nightmare).

One of my girls is off to Manchester uni to study physics when she finishes college at the end of the summer. The other has said she wants to continue to live here with me, and get some horticultural work locally for a year to gain experience and earn some money before applying for a place on the Historic and Botanic Garden Training Scheme.

So no huge unexpected changes of direction.

Except the end of a 24 year marriage. The hardest, and most painful change of all.
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Old 13-01-20, 05:27 PM   #7886
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Default Re: Gripe of the day - What is yours?

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Thanks to everyone of you for your supportive comments. It means a huge amount to me. I read most of them while I was having a coffee break in a cafe in Welshpool and I had to hide my face while reading them as I didn't really want to be dealing with other customers asking if I was ok.



The next two or three months are going to be difficult. We will carry on in the same house until my daughters finish college in order to minimise disruption to them. My wife is then going to live in Shrewsbury while we deal with divorce proceedings. We're not getting solicitors involved as the house we are in here is rented and we have no shared material possessions of any value. I'm staying here as I don't want to live anywhere else, she wants to live in town (my worst nightmare).



One of my girls is off to Manchester uni to study physics when she finishes college at the end of the summer. The other has said she wants to continue to live here with me, and get some horticultural work locally for a year to gain experience and earn some money before applying for a place on the Historic and Botanic Garden Training Scheme.



So no huge unexpected changes of direction.



Except the end of a 24 year marriage. The hardest, and most painful change of all.
Something similar happened to my friend Richard. His two sons had finished school and started work. His wife then suddenly announced she's leaving. He was devastated, he knew things weren't as good as they could be but he thought some counseling might help, but his wife had decided and that was that. Very hard.
It will get better, meantime you have the love of your daughters to help you through it.


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Old 13-01-20, 06:48 PM   #7887
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Sorry to hear this Gary.
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Old 13-01-20, 06:53 PM   #7888
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Default Re: Gripe of the day - What is yours?

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Except the end of a 24 year marriage. The hardest, and most painful change of all.
Agreed Gary, biggest punch in the guts you'll ever get I think
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Old 21-01-20, 08:29 AM   #7889
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Amazon versus Ebay


How come I can order a 3 cable and a 2 disk drive holder from different vendors and they arrive within 2 days from Ebay yet a 60 (in stock) disk drive takes 7 days from Amazon? I don't have prime (and probably never will) because I only use Amazon twice a year (gift card from son). Maybe they're so busy avoiding taxes they don't have time to post things?
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Old 21-01-20, 08:43 AM   #7890
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It depends on where the item is coming from. Fulfilled by Amazon generally means they have it in the UK. It may have come from out of the country.

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