Have I been found out?

As most now know. I had surgery to get my finger chopped off which resulted in a changed of direction once the finger was opened up. Instead I have had surgery to repair it.

I have been keeping my manager at work and indeed the guys who work for me updated with my progress.

I sent an email Yesterday stating that I would need another week absent from work due to my finger getting infected.

Rob, one of my guys emailed me back this:

Simon,



After lengthy discussions between Me and Mickey, we have agreed that your finger is in fact, not infected. Further to that we now actually believe that you never even had a bad finger.



Here’s how we have envisioned the whole incident panned out.



You have a motorbike accident, which you claim on and receive a considerable amount of money. Jo decides that it would be good to use the money to fix up the house and fit a new kitchen. You agree



Problem is that by the time you recover from the accident, you’ve used up all your leave and then some. You can’t possibly get anymore time off to redecorate the house.



Here comes the ingenious part (Full marks for commitment by the way)



You start back at work and when people ask you how you are, you mutter about how….you know, life goes on. (You then get rather animated) The only thing that’s ****ing me off is this bloody finger which wont set back in place (cue you showing little finger which you’ve curled up)



You work through until the new calendar year, occasionally mentioning (whilst holding up curled finger) that you’re seriously considering getting this thing cut off altogether cos it’s just getting in the bloody road.



New calendar year begins and the slate is effectively wiped clean.



Inform Henry that you’re going in for ‘Day surgery’ to have the finger removed.



The day of the ‘surgery’ comes around and you leave the office the night before “Right lads I’m off. I’m going for day surgery to have this bloody finger (Again holding up finger) cut off. I’ve got physio and stuff throughout the week soi’ll be back in next Tuesday, all things going to plan.



Evening of the surgery comes around and lo and behold “PRAISE JESUS” “IT’S A MIRACLE, WHERE ONCE I WAS BLIND, NOW I CAN SEE” The surgeon informs you that the finger can be fixed. Thus eliminating the difficult questions such as “I thought you were having your ****ing finger cut off, It’s still there” with a more convenient “The surgeon fixed it” story



Let the decorating begin!!!





Come Tuesday, the living room still isn’t complete.



Jo: “What are we going to do Simon, we can’t just leave it”



Simon: “They think I’ve had surgery, let’s blame it on the NHS, they’re pretty **** after all. Everybody knows that.



E-mail gets sent to Henry, Myself and Mickey informing us that infection has set in and you have a doctor’s note giving you 4 weeks off. Even though you’re determined to be back at work within the week.



Everybody thinks “fair enough” and just quietly waits for Simon to return to work.



Simon finishes the decorating and returns to work free with fully functioning digit.



Regards,





Poirot

Very funny, but he sure has messed up his next appraisal.

[Stu]

Well & truly sussed, go on admit it! OK by pm if you like

[Viney]

Sack him for being clever!

Aren't you now wishing you'd only thought of that in the first place... however, if you change jobs in teh future it may be worth remembering.

Originally Posted by BigApe

After lengthy discussions between Me and Mickey

Presumably on their own time and not in work's time

Good to hear you're not losing a digit after all

cheeky barsteward!

Its nice that they Assume all of this tell them to prove it

[Scoobs]

Rumbled.

Also, sounds like a good place to work......people wise anyhow.

lol... i think that brilliant. How is the decorating going anyway???

that was quite funny......remind of how u caught him shagging the secretary or somehitng......just for fun! then email it t the wong person