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Old 09-07-12, 06:43 PM   #461
DJ123
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

What rises 8 inches when my wife gets in at night?

The water level in the bath
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Old 09-07-12, 09:10 PM   #462
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

A teacher asks her class if anyone can use the word fascinate in a sentence.
Brian raises his hand and says, “The sky is fascinating.”
The teacher says, “No that’s fascinating.”
Jennifer raises her hand and says, “When I saw the tigers at the zoo I was fascinated.”
The teacher says, “No that’s fascinated.”
So finally Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “My mom bought a new blouse with 12 pearl buttons, but her tit’s are so big she could only fasten eight!
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Old 09-07-12, 09:10 PM   #463
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Same teacher as above asks class to come up with a sentence using "contagious"
Sally:- I was at granny's and I started laughing, she said my laugh was contagious
Teacher:- well done
Billy:- last year I had the mumps, and the doctor said it was contagious
Teacher:- exellent
Paddy (Irish accent):- I was standing with my dad outside our house, and the neighbour came out with a paint pot and a little paintbrush and started painting his porch. My dad said it would take the contagious
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Old 09-07-12, 09:24 PM   #464
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

love that last 1
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Old 10-07-12, 05:12 AM   #465
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs DJ Fridge View Post
Same teacher as above asks class to come up with a sentence using "contagious"
Sally:- I was at granny's and I started laughing, she said my laugh was contagious
Teacher:- well done
Billy:- last year I had the mumps, and the doctor said it was contagious
Teacher:- exellent
Paddy (Irish accent):- I was standing with my dad outside our house, and the neighbour came out with a paint pot and a little paintbrush and started painting his porch. My dad said it would take the contagious

Our Teacer was getting a little dispirited by now, but she decided to give Paddy one last chance.

Sally:- Thank you Patrick. Could you also give the class an example using the word torture.

Paddy:- Sure I can. Last Friday your man Mick was upstairs with me Ma playing trampolines when my Da's van came up the way. As he ran out the back he said, "I torture said your husband was away the whole day"

Last edited by keith_d; 10-07-12 at 05:29 AM.
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Old 10-07-12, 07:00 AM   #466
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

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Old 10-07-12, 08:36 AM   #467
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Default Re: The Comedy Club - Think up some new jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by daveyrach View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by _Stretchie_ View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Owenski View Post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zLBp...feature=fvwrel

Skip to 50seconds+

hhahaahahhaahahahh hahahahahahahaha ahahahahahhahahhahaa
Ha haaa, I was wondering what I was missing and then it made sense....


YOU BETCHA
What am I missing?
Watch from 50 seconds and at 55 second think













P.S. Is it me or does that chicken have a look of shock on it's face?
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Old 12-07-12, 10:28 AM   #468
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Why? That was Dutch.... chef is Swedish
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Old 14-07-12, 04:52 PM   #469
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Old 14-07-12, 11:44 PM   #470
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I watched this 3 times thinking "blimey , how many repeats are they doing of this ? It`s funny but so many .... oh wait , it`s a GIF"
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