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Pennine Massive For those readers based up north.

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Old 20-12-05, 05:51 PM   #1
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Have you noticed (*drops voice to conspiratorial whisper*) that we've been getting a lot of Southern visitors on the Pennine Massive forum recently?

I suppose 'twas ever thus, as they seek out water, decent food, proper beer, open spaces, fresh air, good neighbours etc - and really I don't mind that, although a bit of notice of a visit would give us time to get the best china out and throw a couple of fresh Eccles Cakes in th'Aga. I actually quite like your Southerner (although I couldn't eat a whole one), as long as they don't try to change things (eg our beer and our chips) or steal our women.
(We'll let them off Tara as her position is that she is working as an undercover Northern Missionary in Crowthorne)

As it's Christmas, I think it would be quite neighbourly of us to drop in on their fora too (that's the plural of "forum" in case Scoobs is reading this) - in fact, I'm off later tonight to visit the Selkent site. If you decide to follow my example, just make sure you write very slowly and in a loud voice - they'll understand you better.

I'll let you know how friendly the natives are.

(PS: You don't suppose they'll expect food parcels do you?)
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Old 20-12-05, 07:29 PM   #2
Richie
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I married a southerner.... ( looks over shoulder to see if her in doors is reading this over said Shoulder )

But to some southerners she'd be regarded as a Northerner... ( As she's from King's Lynn in Norfolk.)

As for food parcels, Take some Scones, Yes they call em by a different name down there..

anyway they have Rainbows in Black and White down there.
and there beer has no head, so they should wear the flat caps...

anyroadup time for ecckey thump sandwitch with pie and dripping.
even better than Puddin, Chips & Gravy.

See you on your return young brave El Boc.
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Old 20-12-05, 10:53 PM   #3
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Yo, El Boc, can ya re-peat taht in souvern speak, innit, know waht I mean...
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Old 21-12-05, 11:59 AM   #4
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what is this southerner you speak of, i'm not familiar with the term, are they big or ugly?




ARE THEY BIG OR UGLY????
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Old 21-12-05, 02:32 PM   #5
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El Boc...If you are going to brave a visit to Selkent or(heaven forbid) Soho Massive...can I suggest that you do so with a lengthy rope tied around your waist, in order that we can pull you back as you are bound to be poisoned with suvvern rabbit and they will spin their web of deception in order to convert you to one of their own.
They will try to impress you with gadgets and that new fangled thing electriccery...be on your guard. For our dear maiden Tara has already trodden the same path and now seems doomed!

The sooner our retina recognition password system is fully functional then we can be less vigilant ourselves and the system will monitor the impostors as they try to enter our forum with their poisoned tongues and fancy ways.

p.s.I am sure Jelster is a closet one of us? In fact when I met him in Valencia I must admit he did not have the expected bushy, meet in the middle eye brows,cross eyed gaze nor nervous twitch as we have become used to from those from darn sarf.
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Old 21-12-05, 02:41 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter Henry
p.s.I am sure Jelster is a closet one of us? In fact when I met him in Valencia I must admit he did not have the expected bushy, meet in the middle eye brows,cross eyed gaze nor nervous twitch as we have become used to from those from darn sarf.
I also have all of my fingers and oposing thumbs.... Oh no, that's the West Country isn't it ??

.
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Old 22-12-05, 06:12 PM   #7
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One or two observations below:


50degrees: Southerners turn on their heating. People in Newcastle plant their gardens.

40degrees: Southerners shiver uncontrollably. People in Manchester sunbathe.

30 degrees: Southern cars will not start. People in Leeds drive with their windows down.

20 degrees: Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats. People in Preston throw on a T-shirt. (Girls wear mini-skirts).

15 degrees: Southerners begin to evacuate. People in Scarborough go swimming in the North Sea.

ZERO degrees: Southern landlords turn up the heat. People in Bolton have last barbecue before it gets cold.

MINUS 10: Southerners cease to exist. People in Carlisle throw on a lightweight jacket.

MINUS 80: Polar bears wonder if its worth it. Boy Scouts in Southport start to wear long trousers.

MINUS100: Santa Claus abandons North Pole. People in St.Helens put on their long johns.

MINUS 173: Alcohol freezes. People in Newcastle become frustrated because the pubs are shut.

MINUS 297: Microbial life starts to disappear. The cows in Lancashire complain of vets with cold hands.

MINUS 460: All atomic motion stops. People in Bramley start to stamp their feet and blow on their hands.

MINUS 500: Hell freezes over. Jose Mourinho hugs Arsene Wenger!
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Old 22-12-05, 06:19 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter Henry
50degrees: Southerners turn on their heating. People in Newcastle plant their gardens.

40degrees: Southerners shiver uncontrollably. People in Manchester sunbathe.

30 degrees: Southern cars will not start. People in Leeds drive with their windows down.

20 degrees: Southerners wear coats, gloves and wool hats. People in Preston throw on a T-shirt. (Girls wear mini-skirts).

15 degrees: Southerners begin to evacuate. People in Scarborough go swimming in the North Sea.

ZERO degrees: Southern landlords turn up the heat. People in Bolton have last barbecue before it gets cold.

MINUS 10: Southerners cease to exist. People in Carlisle throw on a lightweight jacket.
Well as you've done a runner to the south of Spain, does that make you softer than a sothern softie thing ?
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Old 22-12-05, 06:23 PM   #9
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Jelster wrote:

Quote:
Well as you've done a runner to the south of Spain, does that make you softer Shandy Drinking Poofter than a sothern softie thing ?
You better believe it baby!
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