Endings

[garynortheast]

Seem to be having to deal with a few endings at the moment. One of them happened yesterday as an ending for me but a beginning for Eleri, one of my twin girls.

I drove her and a load of her stuff up to her student accommodation in halls at Manchester uni. Helped her get all her kit up into her room and then had to drive back alone. Leaving her behind was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

I feel quite broken.

[Craig380]

It really does feel like a threshold has been crossed when you help them move out for the first time.

If it's any consolation, and if Eleri is anything like my two, she'll be back

My daughter is 26, she went to Liverpool then came back after graduation. It's a good job she's still living at home as she's an actor, and of course theatre and TV hit the wall in March. She had paid work at or above Equity scale lined up for all of this year, which vanished.

[Seeker]

Originally Posted by garynortheast

I feel quite broken.

...on the other hand you have successfully raised a girl who is on the path to becoming a young woman. You have shielded her and guided her for this moment, congratulations, take comfort in your achievement.

Personally, I've never liked this time of year, Autumn is the season of endings. Everything in nature is now starting to shut down in preparation for Winter. Once the Equinox is passed and the Sun crosses the equator, I count the days until the Solstice, the promise of Spring and longer days ahead, but I was born in April so it's no wonder I prefer Spring.

[Sir Trev]

Originally Posted by Seeker

...on the other hand you have successfully raised a girl who is on the path to becoming a young woman. You have shielded her and guided her for this moment, congratulations, take comfort in your achievement.

This. x 10!

Monkey is an only child and that day we dropped her off at Sussex Uni halls for the first time was a real change for us, not an end. She loved it, had a great time, and has grown as a person a lot from the experience.

The role of a parent is to get the next generation ready for life, and you've done that. So give yourself a pat on the back.

[shiftin_gear98]

Gary, I know you feel sad for her leaving you, but she hasn't, she will always be back to see you. And she'll never stop loving her dad. As said above, you have helped her start her journey.

Just hope she's not like my wife, she went to Uni in Southampton - she lived in London.
Met a local and brought him back when she finally returned!

We lived in her old room for two years whilst we saved. We then buggered off for a year around the world.
Only to return again.
Skint and having to save again to get a deposit for our own flat, again living out of her old room for about another year. We drove her parents and us insane.

She'll be back, hopefully alone.
I have to say I'm not looking forward to the day my 3 are doing the same, even though they drive me up the wall most days. Little ****ers.

[Bibio]

its not an ending its a new beginning

[maviczap]

Like Bibs says. Although my eldest did a boomerang and was home within a month, but is happier for it.
Me I'd just like to see an end to my situation. I too am broken.

[thedrewski86]

I'm new here and don't mean to butt in but your post hit me.
I've been reading a lot about endings and what they mean in life. Without getting philosophical on a motorcycle forum, what I have been learning/living into is that and ending (or the "death" of something) is the only way new life can come forward. Sounds over-simplified but I've heard the illustration of a cocoon used in this. What often looks like an ending (to a caterpillar) is an opportunity for new life (a butterfly). Obviously your daughter is starting a new life and is no doubt happy to be doing so. You on the other hand are thrust into a time of ending, or dealing with the metaphorical death of a stage of life.
I don't want to draw the obvious conclusion that you should simply feel happy that your daughter is starting something exciting and that you should buck up and feel good for her. You feel broken for a reason. What I have been coming to see is that only in this time of brokenness is our soul in a position to grow. This was quite a revelation to me and you can see it work out in nature all around us. Grape vines produce the best grapes in harsh climates, we become good at a task when we have to learn the hard way, trials and tribulations create a stronger individual and develop a sense of compassion for others.
Okay I'm done with the heavy talk. I'm sorry you feel broken right now and I don't blame you. I can only imagine what that must feel like.

[Bike27]

Originally Posted by Seeker

...on the other hand you have successfully raised a girl who is on the path to becoming a young woman. You have shielded her and guided her for this moment, congratulations, take comfort in your achievement.

And THIS times another 10.

Can only look at this from the perspective of the child, as I don't have any children of my own.

As it's over 30 years ago I'm a bit sketchy on the details but my Dad definitely ran me to and from University a few times (don't like the word Uni as it reminds me of whinging students with an oversized sense of entitlement).

I'm confident he wouldn't have felt that broken though - having left my Mum & I seven years earlier.

Still, the lifts were definitely a help, as there's only so much you can carry on a KLR600, 350LC or CBR600.

EDIT -Just reading this back I couldn't help but slightly marvel at the fact that I ran a CBR600 for 7 months while a University student Still that was in the days of actual student grants and my rent (room in a grotty terraced house in a grotty northern town) was about £20 a week.....