Anybody got any tips on how to.......?

....get rid of the local resident drunk. He seems to have attached himself to me and my sister getting used to the bike in the car park (ok we haven't progressed very far - don't laugh!)

Gave some great (!) advice on how you mustn't wear your helmet when going slow even though 'd banged my helmet the previous day falling off the bike. Anyway after drooping under the alcohol fumes we put the bike where we parked it after 10 minutes - what an outing!!

Hopefully tomorrow we'll get up to 15 minutes

[Biker Biggles]

Try riding over his can of special brew.If he doesn't get the message do it again to his other can(drunks always have a spare can)and he will have to go away to buy some more.He won't risk losing more drink by coming back to annoy you.

Didn't think of that! I won't run over his spare can just yet - I think I'll save that for tomorrow as my sister looked like she was going to ram it somewhere!

Take him for a ride on the back, then dump him somewhere in the countryside

Chuckle, it's a risky strategy as engaging in any kind of conversation could be seen as encouragement, but there is one conversation which will have "most" people running for the hills - explain that you are messengers from the Lord, preaching the word of Jehovah/Buddha/Vishnu and are here to save his mortal soul.

Of course, there's always a possibility he'll be convinced by your words, become your disciple and follow you around for the rest of his days...

Actually - he looks the sort that probably would! He was one of those irritating people that knew it all and had supposedly ridden every bike under the sun - think I'll go for the "stand a little closer - put your toes nearer to my tyre" approach due to being a little unstable until I've had the seat lowered!

....church of Satan?

[Viney]

Buy him a 4 pack of Super T, and ask him if he can leave you alone as hes not helping.

Bottle of ultra strength alcohol, knock him out for a good couple of hours or days, either using blunt force or drinking it.

He actually asked at one point if he was being a nuisance, I was too polite and said 'no not at all', my sister who was on the bike at the time had the more direct approach and said "yes you are".

Must learn.....!