another best man speach/duties thread

right........ i have done a bit of reserch on the net, and tims thread was a help, but im still $hittin my self.

so the speach

im hoping to get it to 7 mins, but what am i meant to say, is it just amusing stories about the groom? do i need to thank anyone? or say anything else

i have a few ideas, but im struggerling with an opener,

also what else am i expected to do ?

I would suggest wearing that bikini underneath your suit

Originally Posted by chakraist

I would suggest wearing that bikini underneath your suit

kilt

Originally Posted by hovis

kilt

Better still!

You realy should be speaking to the Groom to find out what they expect of you, but in reality you need to speak to them both together as a wedding is realy all about the Bride.

Apart from the speech, you will be required to make the toast to the Bride and Groom, then maybe the bridesmaids etc. You may also be asked to read the cards from those that are not in attendance, be carefull to read cards from both sides of the family.

If you cant tell jokes, don't try. Keep your speech short, do not insult the bride, the groom is fair game but dont go over the top. Don't get drunk.

[Paul the 6th]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=WBvCDz-Y45g

I'm also pooing myself. i've got a wedding in 4 weeks and I havent got a clue about the speech. worst of all, the groom has said I CANT say anything about our debauched youth - what the hell else am i meant to talk about? Drug references are a definate no no, humph

[ogden]

There's a bloke, Mitch Murray, advertises in the back of Private Eye as a speechwriter. If you get really stuck, I'd drop him a line.

I went to a wedding at the weekend and the speeches were jaw-droppingly bad. The highlight of the best man's speech was a joke about paedophilia, which should illustrate the point.

I'm meant to be giving my sister away at her wedding - I've agreed to do it on the condition that I don't have to give a speech as well. Safer all round.

note to self: do not mention paedophilia or beastiality in speech..glad you pointed that one out mate

I was best man once and that's more than enough for me. It was a huge room so a mic was needed for the speeches. Unfortunately, it was a wireless one... that was knackered. I ended up doing a 3 minute impression of Norman Collier (anyone 30+ should remember him). Ironically, when I said that, the damn thing cut out so no-one heard the joke

I would stick to one funny, but relatively clean story about the groom, tell the bride how beautiful she is (true or not ), thanks to both families for organisation, a cheeky mention to the bridesmaids (their age is a factor here obviously), read a few well chosen messages and finish with a sentimental comment to the groom (chicks dig that ) and a toast.

Oh, and don't forget the rings, make sure he is there in plenty of time and DO NOT get pi$$ed until AFTER the speech.