I Passed My "Life in the UK" Exam

[CheGuevara]

...but it wasn't easy!

I'm just about to wind up my first 2 years here and so my temporary visa is expiring. In order to apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain (perm. residency) I had to write the "Life in the UK" exam before submitting my application.

I pretty much figured, being Canadian and having lived here for 2 years, it'd be a piece of cake. My wife on the other hand was smart enough to order me the study guide -which turned out to be a very good thing!

The exam is only 24 questions, but they're random and based on historical migration (which groups came when, and why), demographics (%'s of visible minorites by nationality or split between England, Scotland, Wales or N. Ireland for example), gov't. and politics, the monarchy, culture, education (at what ages are children tested in Wales), housing, social services/beneitis and so on. The pass mark is 75%.

None of it is rocket science, but a lot to memorize, and I hadn't left myself a lot of time. I hadn't realized that by law you have to book at least 7 days prior to sitting the exam, and most of the testing centres were booked solid over the holidays. I had to get it done and send my application in by the 1st! Teach me to procrastinate...

Anyhow I managed to find a centre down near Stansted with a spot on Dec 23rd. This I thought would work well as I was taking my wife to Munich (Xmas markets for her, Hoffbrauhaus for me) for a few days prior and we arrived home via Stansted late at night (11pm) on the 22nd. Easy I thought - I'll just book a Travel Lodge nearby.

We arrived in Munich (-12c and heavy snow, so good for the Xmas vibe) and had 3 great, if not cheap, days of browsing, drinking, and eating. Tuesday eve came and we started on our way back to the airport. The first sign that things were not going to go smoothly was on the train to the airport. We'd gotten about halfway there and had our heads down chatting. Suddenly at one stop, a random German guy shouts something (in German) to us through the door. I look up and notice we're the only people on the train. I guess he was shouting something like "Hey idiots, get off the train, it's the end of the line!". So we jump up, but... now the doors won't open. Dozen's of people are on the platform looking back in at us with expressions of mixed confusion and concern. Suddenly the train starts to leave the station

OK, not yet panicking, but definitly an "Awww craaap!" moment. Where are we headed? Some far off maintenance terminal? Will we miss our flight?

Fear not, because a few minutes later we pull into the next station. Great! We can get off and regroup. But wait! The doors still won't open! Several doors tried... nothing. Wave frantically into the cctv cameras... nothing. Push the emergency intercom button several times... nothing. More passengers on the platform looking at us with the same confused/concerned expressions but doing... nothing. What the hell is going on here?

Suddenly the train starts to move again. "Awww craaap!" is evolving into "We're screwed!". But then it stops again another 100M down, still on the platform! Another push of the door button and.... FREEEEDDDDDOOMMMM!!!

Quickly we blend into the crowd to escape further ebarassment . A few minutes of confusion and we figure out which platform we need to be on and get there just in time for our connection to the airport -arriving in plenty of time. Whew!

As it turns out however we needn't have worried. Our flight was delayed by about 2hrs. Oh well it'll be a bit later of a night than we planned (we had been due to arrive at 11pm), but still manageable. Or maybe not...

Getting close to our anticipated new time of arrival, the captain announces that Stansted is closed (you can fly into Munich in -12C, but Stansted closes in -2C. Go figure. How do they manage in Canadian airports at -30C?), so they're taking us to Birmingham, but hey no problem he says, they'll take us by coach to Stansted. "Awww craaapp!" has returned.

The young woman (early-mid 20's) sitting next to us starts panicking and crying. Apparently she stands to miss her connecting flight and 1 day of her Christmas holiday with her parents. Gee lady, I sure do feel for you. I mean, all I stand to lose is my right to legally live and work in the same country as my wife if I miss this exam- a small thing in comparison to a lost day of holidays, so I really have no idea how you're managing to cope so well Silly psuedo-french granola-girl. I kept my mouth shut though.

Luck, as it turns out, was on our side, even if it was playing the fine edge. We touched down at about 1am, and prompty waited for 15 minutes for a bus to come and take us to the terminal. Once in the airport we exited quickly (carry on luggage only) and found our coach to Stansted waiting outside! Turns out our driver has a lead foot as well, so we know we'll make the trip in record time... or perhaps not at all as the roads were in a terrible state. Nevermind, I'll distract myself from this trip on the death-bus and make use of the time by studying... or not, as he's just shut off the lights and the reading lights don't work.

As predicted though, we pull in to Stansted in record time at about 3:30am. Wait around for a bit for the bus to the long-term parking. Arrive and spend 20 minutes chiseling 3 days of ice from the windows. I am at least happy that we brought the 4x4.

Off to the Travel Lodge. I've got sat-nav, but it only has the road, not the actual building number. Turns out it's a long road. Bleary eyes peer out the windscreen looking for some sign of the hotel as I drive as slowly as I dare down the icy road and through heavy snow with an impatient lorry on my back bumper. Hey that last sign said we're about to get back on the dual carriageway! Stress level rising... "Wait, there it is!" cries the wife! Salvation.

Thank God for 24hr check-in, but I'm pretty sure we woke the poor woman from a deep sleep. Up to the room, a quick shower and into bed. Never has a Travel Lodge felt so luxurious. It's 5am. The alarm is set for 8am. The exam material is whirling around in my head. Have I studied enough? Have I got the figures and dates right? Minutes after I start thinking I'm too tired and stressed to sleep, I'm out cold.

3hrs later and I'm up again for an hour of studying before we leave for the exam. Breakfast is 2 bottles of Diet Coke. I hope I don't have to pee during the exam.

We get to the test centre, my nerves are very frail now...

"Where the hell do I park? All the spaces are full!" says me.

"Wait, I see some spots over there." I answer myself.

"That's over a sidewalk, you can't drive over there." says my wife, helpfully.

"It's a 4x4, I can drive wherever I damn well please!" I reply, agitatedly.

"A spot just opened up behind us, go around again." says my wife, foiling my rebelious plans.

"Fine." says me.

I drive around the lot again, but find myself now behind another car, which as you might guess, takes the vacant spot.

"That's it!" I snap, "Enough p!ssing about, I'm going over the sidewalk!"

"Just wait here," she says, "I'll run in and ask".

A minute later she reappears with some guy from the centre. Arms wave, fingers point, and hands flip about mimicking turns. Wife laughs ("I'm glad you're having a good time" I think, snarkily), thanks the guy and returns to the truck. A couple of minutes and a few more grouchy comments from me and we're parked up, on the other side of the sidewalk, but without having broken any laws. Did I mention my wife has the patience of a saint?

Into the exam centre. Wait around for a bit and then I get called into a room to show my ID and pay my fee. Wait around for a bit more then the group of us get shuffled into the computer room where we will take the test (administered by computer). A brief explanation, do the 3 practice questions, then the instructor will log us on to the actual exam when we're ready. We'll have 45 minutes to complete the exam. I get the practice questions done no problem. Feeling good about that and nerves settle slightly. I wave over the instructor. There's a problem with my computer and he can't log me on. Everyone else has started the exam. I need to reboot and see if that helps. Settled nerves have now gotten jumpy again. Finally though I'm up and running.

A few of the questions I'm unsure of, and a couple I'm positive weren't in the study guide. I make my best guesses and I'm finished in about 5 minutes. I go back over it twice more to make sure I haven't missed anything obvious. I count and I have 6 questions where I'm not sure of my answer. I'm allowed 6 wrong. If I've made an error on any of the others I stand a good chance of blowing it. I can do no more, so after a nervous pause and a deep breath I click the "Finish" button, then return to the lobby to wait for my result.

I've got about a minute to wait before the printer comes up with my result. My wife asks how it went. I say nothing but give her an uncertain look. I feel like I could puke. I'm one of the first out of the room and the other waiting families/friends watch me nervously.

The sound of the printer cuts the silence. The guy on the front desk walks over and waits for it to finish. He lifts up the paper and then looks over at me. It's in slow motion, I swear. Somebody get me a bucket. Ever so subtly he smiles and gives me a slight nod before disappearing into an office.

"That's it? Did I pass?" I asked my wife, almost in disbelief.

It's confirmed a moment later when the guy returns with my results, now freshly rubber-stamped and signed. Congrats from the other people in the lobby.

"Oh thank christ!" I said, "Let's go home!"

A huge weight now off my shoulders, the drive home went smoothly, especially after I apologised for being so grouchy that morning. We even managed a stop at Costco for Xmas supplies. In a mood for celebrating, I spent waaaay too much on alcohol, and gave the wife carte blanche in the bakery section (she has a sweet tooth).

So I have now submitted my results along with my application, our passports, bank statments, pay slips, utility bills etc... and £820, and now wait for my permanent visa to be returned (assuming I haven't made any errors!).

[Bri w]

Party time!!!!

Well done. I'm sure the majority on here, me included, wouldn't have been able to pass without having the correct revision material!

Congratulations!

Living in Northants wont have helped you pass, its like a different planet round these parts most of the time!

Fantastic! Loved reading that.

[Spiderman]

Great write up Che. I got my indefinate leave to remain when i was about 11 or 12yrs old and in those days we had to show up at the local cop shop with our Aliens Card. I kid you not, we were Legal Aliens under the laws of this country, lol.

[Bibio]

can i have your 'place' in Canada?

it seems that it's easier to get into the UK if you are Canadian than it is to get into Canada if your from the UK.

good luck in your future in this beautiful country.

[CheGuevara]

Originally Posted by Bibio

can i have your 'place' in Canada?

it seems that it's easier to get into the UK if you are Canadian than it is to get into Canada if your from the UK.

good luck in your future in this beautiful country.

I came in on a marriage visa and it was about the same effort either way for that. One of the deciding factors on moving here was that my earning power was far better and the cost of living was not much more.

The current Canadian PM is a bit too much like G. W. Bush, we're continually screwed by Americans on trade deals, the RCMP seems to have found licence to regularly abuse and murder civilians with no risk of serious inquiry, the government turns a blind eye to human rights abuses involving it's own citizens, we pollute far more than our fair share, gang warfare is on the rise... but yeah it does look nice on post cards

[Bibio]

so much like the UK then...lol

[Spiderman]

Well its the New World Order the politicians wet themselves over isnt it.