Some light reading... - SV650.org

16-07-10, 09:23 PM

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person
who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English
language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?

17. Why is it that you never really learn to swear until you learn to
drive.

18. Why is it that no one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team
is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on
those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
NAIVE

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea , does that mean that one
enjoys it?

16-07-10, 09:35 PM

Liked that SO, cheers

16-07-10, 10:41 PM

Why isn't the number 12 called onety two?

Sid Squid · 17-07-10, 01:41 PM

I always thought it should be oneteen, twoteen, threeteen, fourteen.

17-07-10, 04:32 PM

Haha nice one, made me giggle that

17-07-10, 05:47 PM

Surely if its twenty-one, twenty-two and so on then it should be ten-one, ten-two, ten-three......

tinpants · 17-07-10, 08:21 PM

How can you have a braille sign that says "don't touch"?

16-07-10, 09:23 PM	#1
Specialone Guest Posts: n/a	Some light reading... 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? 12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men? 15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 17. Why is it that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 18. Why is it that no one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning. 19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE 20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 21. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea , does that mean that one enjoys it?

16-07-10, 09:35 PM	#2
RichT Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Some light reading... Liked that SO, cheers

16-07-10, 10:41 PM	#3
MR UKI (1) Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Some light reading... Why isn't the number 12 called onety two?

17-07-10, 01:41 PM	#4
Sid Squid No, I don't lend tools. Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Skunk Works, Nth London Posts: 8,680	Re: Some light reading... I always thought it should be oneteen, twoteen, threeteen, fourteen. __________________ If an SV650 has a flat tyre in the forest and no-one is there to blow it up, how long will it be 'til someone posts that the reg/rec is duff and the world will end unless a CBR unit is fitted? A little bit of knowledge = a dangerous thing. "a deathless anthem of nuclear-strength romantic angst"

17-07-10, 04:32 PM	#5
ChrisSV Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Some light reading... Haha nice one, made me giggle that

17-07-10, 05:47 PM	#6
kellyjo Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Some light reading... Surely if its twenty-one, twenty-two and so on then it should be ten-one, ten-two, ten-three......

17-07-10, 08:21 PM	#7
tinpants Ubique Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire Posts: 643	Re: Some light reading... How can you have a braille sign that says "don't touch"? __________________ Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're a pillock

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