jelly baby laugh

[anna]

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.
After a few beers the Smartie says
"Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging
along?"

The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre; I always end up
getting my head kicked in."

So Smartie says, "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case,
I'll look after you."

Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as
long as you'll look after me", and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon
as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table.

The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him,
breaking bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with
little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while
they get bored and walk out.

Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and
wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says "I
thought you were going to look after me."

"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are f ***** g menthol"

[Skip]

Bu-boom tsshhh...

similar joke
a bit of asphalt and his bit of concrete mate are chatting
concrete says "wanna go clubbing?"
ashphalt says no i always seem to get picked on
concrete says "im hard..i'll protect you"
so off they go clubbing
after a while a red bit of tarmac walks in,walks up to asphalt and stats beating him up..meanwhile concrete is cowering under a table.
when the red tarmac walks out,asphalt runs to his mate and says.. ithought you were hard and would protect me
concrete says "i wernt going near him..he's a cycle path