Cheeky sports commentary.

I got thinking of that famous Brian Johnson commentary when he mentioned that a batsman was struggling tp cover the ground in order to not be out. The batsman somehow had to jump in order not to hit his own wickets at the end of his run to which Brian anounced...

"He just managed to get his leg over." Innocent enough in itself but when a mucky mind kicks in......

That quote is famous as the normally impecable and extremely plumby voiced Brian just completely lost it and was a heap of giggles for about half an hour afterwards.

So my challenge to the cheeky minded SV peeps is to make up your own little comentaries that on first glance could be seen as innocent enough but.....

I'll give a couple of poor examples to start you off:


"Colin Montgomery looks very relieved to have only dropped one there."

"The defender was giving Ronaldo a good tug as he went past him."

"She's a lovely filly who always gives anyone lucky enough to be on top of her a good ride."

[Biker Biggles]

Nice one Totti.

There's a very famous cricketing commentator goof from the 70's:
The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey.

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..."
ANDY GRAY, Sky Sports

"Watch her spread her legs and show her class"
Jimmy McGee on the last 300 metres of a long distance final
(Olympics).

"This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother"
Ted Walsh (Horse Racing Commentator)

"Adams is stretching himself, looking for Seaman." Brian Moore

"Batistuta is very good at pulling off defenders." Kevin Keegan

"Mark Hughes at his very best. He loves to feel people right behind him." Our Kev again


Who needs to make them up when the commentators do such a good job as is :P

I remember watching 6 Nations Rugby Union on Sky.

Commentator said "blah blah......Leicester gang bang" after two England players tackled some poor guy at the same time.

[Gazza77]

Non sporting, but announced on local radio shortly after Boyzone member Stephen Gately had outed himself as gay.

"Boyzone singer Stephen Gately has today announced himself as gay. Ronan Keating immeadiatley got right behind him"!

Originally Posted by lynw

"Watch her spread her legs and show her class"
Jimmy McGee on the last 300 metres of a long distance final
(Olympics).

ha ha. I remember that. Jimmy Magee was filthy. I reckon he did it on purpose.

Jimmy:
"Ardiles strokes the ball like it was part of his anatomy."
"Jean Tigana has spent the entire first half inside Liam Brady's shorts."

Seriously. Non stop torrent of filth from that lad. I was embarrised for his children.

There is this guy though, Tom Tyrell, who does an outstanding line in talking total ********. This guy is legend as far as I am concerned. He gets into the bizarre, where Magee cant get past inuendo.

Tom:
'The ball stuck to his foot like a magnet attracting a piece of steel, or metal rather.'

'Most of the play is in the middle of the pitch, like a giant Easter egg'

'My eyes might have been deflected by Robbie Keane'

'I don't think that was offside. You can see it on the big screen opposite but its difficult to tell because your brain has to immediately reverse what you've just seen.'

'Owen runs like rabbit chasing after what do rabbits run after? They run after nothing. Well, running after other rabbits.'

I am sorry. But, that last quote, you just cant buy that. That's just genius. Oh man. Like a giant Easter Egg??? Dude. Frank Zappa would have loved that guy.

These are top notch too.

"The Saudis would struggle in Europe because of that problem with those prayers five times a day.You don't know if they're going to turn up for training. I'm being serious." (Don Howe)

"Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Atlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana! Maggie Thatcher! Can you hear me Maggie Thatcher? Your boys took one hell of a beating. Your boys took one hell of a beating." (Norwegian commentator)

"This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing". (Pat Glenn)