Less about fun - more about preservation

Anyone else feeling like this? Less about fun and more about preservation?

My wife said something that made me think tonight. She couldn't remember the last time I came home after a blast and raved about it. True I had an off recently - my confidence is low and I'm still paranoid but she has a point.

Take tonight's ride for example.

3 cars pulled out in front of me. A boy racer reversed out at warp speed nearly t-boning me. Diesel spills. White van man crawling scarily close behind me in town, an idiot in a cage braking and weaving in front of me, a stupid cow ran me onto the verge on a single track, a lorry ahead was indicating left to turn onto the road, I see him, he pulled out - but pulled out onto my side of the road causing me to brake hard. And to cap it all....just as I'm exiting a roundabout this nutter changes lane and cuts in front of me - nearly taking me and another car out.

This wasn't fun and it's like this all the time these days. I seriously thought about hanging up my leathers tonight.

[rictus01]

Funny that, after 8 and a half months off the road, a near death accident, smashed knee and continued pain everyday and every step, the last two weeks being back on a bike (ok not my first choice a machine, the CB) are great and give me a feeling of normality I haven't had in all that time, I think coming so close to not being able to ride at all, has made me understand what riding gives me, not there yet, still building bravery and confidence, the pain is something I'll have to live with, but I'm even getting used to that.

Feel like hanging up my Leathers, not on your life, perhaps when they nail the lid on, but not before if it's my choice.

Cheers Mark.

[Sid Squid]

Your confidence took a knock, understandably, and now you're focussing on the negatives at the expense of identifying, and enjoying, the positives.

Don't give yourself a hard time over it, and don't dwell on the crap bits*, they were always there you're just thinking more about them now.

* Harder to do than say I know, but you'll be back soon I'm sure.

When you have the choice it's easier to think about giving up.
But when you get into a position of no choice, be it because you've sold the bike or other circumstances dictacte you 'can't' ride...

... then it's hell.

Thing s, it's not just your confidence that has taken a knock - your imagination has taken a boost too. All those hazards that you will have subconciously noticed before are now much more of a focus.
Your brain can run little 'what if' scenarios for you instead of just pointing you in the direction of the safe route. This can be unnerving, but you just learn to use them as a new, advanced tool in hazard perception.

Now if only such predictive abilities could work for me in chess.

yeah you may only have told her the bad bits about the ride, but the good bits she just wouldnt understand! i've tried explaining it to my mates when they ask about being out, they just dont understand how i can just 'go for a ride', they dont understand how i can just ride somewhere for no real reason then turn around and come home again!

but the happiest i've been recently was riding through Glencoe the other week whilst on holiday, cruising at about 80(ish!) in glorious sunshine, through one the of the most scenic areas of scotland on a tuesday afternoon with no other care in the world. just such a great feeling inside. you will all know exactly what i mean, but try explaining it to someone!

It's a bit like that saying, "I only ask if life is worth living when it isn't." The fact that you're questioning it shows you had an exceptionally bad day's riding. Would you be thinking about quitting if you had just come in from a ride in glorious weather on spectacular roads, where you were riding well and car drivers were all giving way to you, moving over to let you pass, etc.?

As K says, I think these sort of things can (in the longer term, once the initial unpleasentness is forgotten) actually aid your riding/enjoyment of it. Since a chap had me off on a roundabout, I'm actually better at predicting car's movements/when they're going to go in the wrong lane.

Originally Posted by stuartyboy

Anyone else feeling like this? Less about fun and more about preservation?

My wife said something that made me think tonight. She couldn't remember the last time I came home after a blast and raved about it. True I had an off recently - my confidence is low and I'm still paranoid but she has a point.

Take tonight's ride for example.

3 cars pulled out in front of me. A boy racer reversed out at warp speed nearly t-boning me. Diesel spills. White van man crawling scarily close behind me in town, an idiot in a cage braking and weaving in front of me, a stupid cow ran me onto the verge on a single track, a lorry ahead was indicating left to turn onto the road, I see him, he pulled out - but pulled out onto my side of the road causing me to brake hard. And to cap it all....just as I'm exiting a roundabout this nutter changes lane and cuts in front of me - nearly taking me and another car out.

This wasn't fun and it's like this all the time these days. I seriously thought about hanging up my leathers tonight.

Sorry to hear that...doesn't sound much fun. I had somebody pull out in front of me when I was on my CBT the other day. She started to pull out, saw me, hesitated, then decided to pull out anyway! Silly moo!

The lorry turning left thing, lorries tend to swing wide to come out.

I have times (mainly commuting) where I'm avoiding everything on the road. I also have times where I just disappear out on the bike & can't stop grinning.

Consider moving house before you consider selling the bike & hanging up your leathers. The roads around here are excellent stress relief

I had similar doubts not long ago .... which were building up over time. I discussed it quite a bit on the forum, and although others certainly didnt persaude me, they did remind me of what I love about it.

From my experience I would say hang in there and the good will come back. But the other option is to take a break, and see if you miss it .... I bet you will!!

On the bike the only thing that has helped my confidence, is to do the miles, and forget the bad days, and set off out on your bike thinking it is going to be a good one!

Even now, I can get anxiety about a ride, if I think about it to long, but once on the bike, that leaves me and wayhay we are off! This includes making myself ride in the wind and rain, which has always been an issue for me. I have truely found that if something in life seems to difficult .... it usually isnt!!

Originally Posted by Tomcat

Even now, I can get anxiety about a ride, if I think about it to long, but once on the bike, that leaves me and wayhay we are off! This includes making myself ride in the wind and rain, which has always been an issue for me. I have truely found that if something in life seems to difficult .... it usually isnt!!

I'll second that!!

From conversations with you on the MIGTs ride you obviously still have concerns in your head. The second you get on the bike all that's forgotten though, as you get "a bit too excited" in your own words.