Anonymous |
18-12-05 01:32 AM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelster
Why is it always raining when I go to our Manchester office ?
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Because you've used up all your water in the South, and without our Northern reservoirs, Montmorency, Clarence and their chums wouldn't be able to water their golf courses....and Jemima, Fenella and the Stepford wives couldn't wash their 4X4s
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelster
When can I go North of Derbyshire and not be called "pet" or "duck" ?
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Usually when you are visiting the places where you are called "love" or "pal". They are terms of fond and sympathetic endearment, nicer than "****" or "mush", and often specifically used for those who have run out of water.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelster
Why do you drink your beer warm ?
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Because Northerners invented it before the refrigerator, and designed it so it tasted of more than E-numbers, ie, we don't need to strangle the flavour.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelster
Is wearing a flat cap compulsary ?
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Only on Sundays in Methodist Chapels. And Barnoldswick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelster
Is it true you have gravy on baked beans ?
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Yes....in Barnoldswick. Otherwise it's curry sauce (bits/scraps optional).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelster
I did hear that you only ever had a barf on Sundays, but I don't believe that one :lol: :lol:
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That's true. The rest of the time we sluice off in one of the many open-air public bidets.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jelster
I need to know these things so that when I come up to see you I can adjust to my surroundings :wink:
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Why not enrol on one of our introductory courses? They're a bit like a track-day for beginners.....but with better roads and better chips. :wink: :wink:
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