I was riding my pushbike along the road and I turned round to shout abuse at some kids who were tormenting me and didnt notice the police car parked on the side of the road which I then road straight into with a nice arty tumble I landed on the bonnet :oops:

And then there was the time I was giving young lady a piggy back across the road ( don't ask we were both drunk ) I lost my balance and tripped over. I couldnt put my hands out to save myself so I feel straight onto my head, breaking my glasses and cutting my head open and had to go to casualty :oops:

And then there was the time I was trying to do a trick on my skateboard, which I got a bit wrong and it flipped up and hit me in the face, which put my bottom row of teeth through my top lip and my top row of teeth through my bottom lip and broke one of my top front teeth off. :oops: :oops:

The wifes escort had failed its MOT because of a corrosion hole in the bulk head being to close to the brake cylinder. So weld it up time.


Happily welding away when the wife came running out the house saying why was the back widow turning black.


Doh sound foam behind the dash had caught fire. Nothing a quick squirt with the hosepipe did not fix.


so later that day it passes its MOT. Thought nothing about it, the guy had lifted the bonnet. Checked my welded patch. Closed it and wrote out the ticket and I drove away.


Next day I am on the A50 between near Utoxeter when the mobile rings. It is the wife. She was on her way up the M6 doing about 80 in the outside lane when the bonnet blew open. Wrapped itself round the roof. she fortunately was not hurt and had managed to drive blind onto the hard shoulder. Turned round and few the 120 miles back as fast as I could. My brother had recovered her car.

Whilst we blamed the MOT station for not closing the bonnet properly, the previous day, they denied responsibility and I had to claim on my insurance. Lynne had never driven since. That is about 8 years now.

I broke my shoulder on my honeymoon (2 days in) - My (now ex) husband tried to trip me up on the beach and as i went down i turned to swear at him and landed on my shoulder - resulting in 3 hours in casualty and 3 pain killing injections in my backside

That was nice of him did he last the honeymoon, or was he a very quick ex??

quick Ex - 3.5 years

While at a Fun fair in Leeds Town Centre I took a 5ft stuffed cow and the 2 gold fish that I had just won onto the child's ghost train (I was giving them a treat). While acting the fool I fell out of the carriage taking stuffed heifer and the 2 small aquatic creatures with me. Being the selfless chap that I am and knowing that; what was essentially a Tescos sandwich bag filled with water would be able to offer little in the way of protection to my new found swim buddies, I sacrificed myself by choosing to use my head to break my fall, my arms were preoccupied saving the fish!! As my skull crashed in the steel checker plate walk board I somehow forward rolled and ended up sat bolt upright on the top step of the exit gate with fish still in bag in the one hand and 5ft stuffed Frisian sat next to me on the other. A round of applause and many a giggle later from the large crowds I offered a small bow and I took my leave.
No injury was sustained. . . . . . . . . . . . . it's odd how alcohol makes you so ply-able!!??!!

My brother used to have an Mobilette (or similar) field bike.
On one occasion he (somehow) managed to get the front wheel off the ground.
This was a mistake as it fell out, the forks dug in the ground and catapulted him over the bars, head first into a concrete fence post.

He ended up with a bad headache and a shiner.
He probably owes his life to our Mum, who was never happy with us bombing around the wasteground behind our house on £10 death traps, but would let us on condition that we always wore a helmet.

Most of mine involve not looking where i was going!!

1st off. caused £800 worth of damage to my XR2. Rolling downhill in a queue of traffic, myself, and has it turns out, the 4 cars in front of me, observed an unbelievable young lady get out of her merc convertable, in not much more than a bikini and very short skirt...the inevitable happened, We all crashed into each other! She even gave a wry smile...evil...pure evil


2nd. I walked into a phone box on Charing cross road, again in the summer, whilst looking and a female of the species walking down the other side of the street. The blok in the phone box was in fits of laughter...2 secs later i fell down the kerb as well!

3rdly. Watching a plane take off from Biggin hill during an Air show, i walked, very hard into one of those short stubby lampposts....knocked myself out.

Apparently when I was about two years old, I had taken a dislike to the local coppers son.

He was a bigger boy and could ride a proper bike. So when he rode a full speed past the gates to my house I ran out and put a garden cane into his front wheel. He apparently perfected an instant stoppie but over cooked it and bit the dust.

The local copper was not pleased his perfect 6 year old being mangled and predicted I would one day end up behind bars. Does this mean that he thought me perfect landlord material?.

Well I have listed in other threads silly accidents like When I almost put a 9mm lump of lead into my head, when I ran into low slung chains with my hands in my pockets and slid down the road on my nose/chin.

but for the mechanically minded another silly.

My father had bought a brand new car and asked me to underseal it. A body schutz gun is a very simple device and consists of a venturi to induce a small vacuum in the can of sealant and to suck out the gunge to spray onto body panels. Well chatting to the old man as I sprayed this rubberised gunge I wasn't concentrating on the business end and accidently made contact between the end of the gun and the car. At which point there wasn't enough room for the gunge to come out. The can of gunge then pressurised and exploded covering me the garage and the 3 day old car in underseal. it must have taken weeks to clean up

I can picture you now, another class act :)

Oh and it is a well known fact that the more 'relaxed' you are the less likely you are to get injured ...