Is blood thicker than water
 

Just musing over this generally, what do you all think? I mean generally, not on my dysfunctional mob.

In my case, it's my twin brother. We have nothing in common. He doesn't talk to me, hasn't done for years except to write abusive letters, usually timed to arrive on my birthday. He moved house a few months back and hasn't told me the address. Good bloody riddance. He told SIL on her birthday that he wanted a divorce. Nice. So we get SIL on the phone in floods of tears. And then my mother chimes in, also in tears, and it all escalates cos he's upset her too and she's torn apart over the grandchildren.

Quezzie is, do families ever stop being a pain in the ****? Do they ever really go away and stop trying to tell you how to run your life, what to do and how to do it, poking noses in where they're not wanted? And can you ever really not get involved?

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Nope. Which is why I choose to distance myself as far as reasonably possible. After nearly 40 years, they're finally getting the message....

(BTW, you have a twin:o you're not gemini are you - good twin/evil twin?)

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

My Brother and I didnt speak for 10 years after my father died as he didnt get on with my step mother (mother died when I was 6) And after 2 tour of Northern Ireland in the Army he was a bit wierd for a while. He divorced his wife and went out of our lives completely after being a right pain in the harris for a few years. Two years ago he got in contact again after he remarried and his wife said he should really contact what family he had left (Me) and has been great ever since.
I think we've both mellowed a bit as we approach 50

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

In my case water is only thicker than blood in the case of my wife, if family start upsetting her then they'd better watch out, otherwise family come first.

They are still a right royal pain in the ar$e but they are family and I've had them more than 28 days, so I can't take them back for a refund.

I just limit the amount of time I spend with them ie: No Mum we can't manage to come and stay for a week, ('cos you'll get the whole clan to invade us day after day), but we can come for the weekend.

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Ed, definitely......


Ben

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Ed, families are the worse thing ever.

I haven't talked to my mother for a few years now after she sent me an abusive letter about my wife and kids, we talk weekly to her twin sister who despairs about her own sister attitude. I have a younger brother who I have not talked to for over 25 years. Last time I talked to him was a week before he came out of prison and to lay down ground rules as to how he would behave to both me and my parents.

There are times when family just are not worth the aggravation they cause.

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Talking from someone who has not got a lot of family left you should put up with them cos they are the only ones you have. I talk to my sister at least 3/4 times a week and see her at least once a week and my brother i know will always be there for me no matter what i do X
Thinkin of movin out of the area and the only thing stopping me is my brother and sister and they will probablybe the deciding factor over all other consideration !!

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

I think my family is ok, but I'm not sure now I've written this!

Me and my little sister never got along, and things got a lot worse over the past 2 years. She had some bad problems, Mum had some bad problems, but my sister shifted blame for everything on to my mum.. Needless to say over the past couple of years harsh words have been exchanged, my mums been through enough for one lifetime already. Now my sister lives with another sister 40 minutes away.. suits her, suits me, breaks mum's heart. We don't have anything to say to each other, but at the end of the day she's still my little sister and if she needs me I'll be there for her.

Family is family, some things you can't change. That's why I choose my friends carefully ;)

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Oh blimey. Families.

My father was a nasty, abusive, violent piece of work. I don't miss him at all.

My sister ran off and deserted her two young girls for a drug addict 12 years younger then her. I haven't heard a word from her for 7 years.

My mother is materialistic and obsessed with money. To her, it's not who you are that's important, but what you've got. We speak, very rarely, but she's never interested in my life, just bragging about having the Bishop round for supper etc.

My brother was the best of the bunch. He wasn't just my brother but my best mate. I miss him.

Blood thicker than water? No way.

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Being a pain in the backside is what families is for and there's nowt you can do about it - It's a relationship you can't walk away from without causing a lot of pain.

What can I say? Put up and shut up? If you can do that it's better than dragging up old arguments forever.

I had a terrible time with my mother until she died - lots of things happened that still cause pain and if she was still alive I doubt if I'd have much to do with her. As it stands, I've forgiven her and moved on.

Me dad is golden, only ever upset me once in my life when I went away for a weekend with his promise to look after my dog. I came back to pee and poo behind the back door

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

More hassle than there worth at times, not spoken to my sister in 8 years, nothing but an evil twisted drunken ol cow, not spoken to my mother in 4 years, again all because of my sister.

I just look out for my kids and myself, bo!!ox to the rest of them.

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

the thing with families whether you love them or you hate them is that you are always going to be bound to them in some way shape or form. Even if you dont get along and have separated yourself from them for what ever reason you are still going to be emotionally tied to them because most of us have grown up with them and spending that amount of time with anyone will ensure that you are bonded to them.

..just my 2p worth

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Having read this thread, it appears that 'somebody else' (brother/mother/father) is always the pain in the backside and the person(s) at fault. Oh how perfect we all are :smt045

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Ooh, sounds like me and my family. The only family I want to be around are the ones I created or inherited by choice (my kids)

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

despite all the troubles they bring, and all the grief, i would still rather have them to bitch about than them not be here...

I have some serious axes to grind with my mums brothers well two of the three but thats nto to be aired here as it will get messy...:smt013

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

My family isn't so bad anymore. My parents split, life has been a lot simpler. Actually, my mothers current BF is younger than me, that isn't nice.

GF, well, lets not even go there with her family.

I used to help with kids that had been abused by their families (in different ways), and were on a programme to help them recover.

What i guess im trying to say is most families are a real pain in the aris, its just always behined closed doors. That friendly happy family next door, well one of them could murder the rest, you never really know.

How to deal with?
Well, GF's older brother, we simply don't talk to him, he is a sponge and an idiot. The younger brother is going the same way, but there is more hope. She just doesn't bother speaking to them.

My mothers family is from the north, they are much closer up north I think. When they come down they always moan about how no-one is sat in their gardens talking and chatting, (no-one comes out unless its to their cars or something).

So you either have 3 options.
Take the crap families give you, be miserable for it.
Ignore yoiur family completly, move on, move away, live your own life.
Ignore x members of family, and speak to the others, although this will still always cause you problems as the member you speak to will always moan about the others, so your not getting away.

Familes, don't you love them.........

As you can tell, my particular family wasn't all that close and I don't feel I should be extra close to them just to make them happy and fit in with what they expect.

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

You can pick your friends but not your family and very often least said is soonest mended,being one with severe teeth marks in their tongue but a modicum of discreation as to others points of view goes a long way to harmonious relationships be it wives brothers, sisters or parents,but especially your kids. None of us is perfect

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

The thing I like about my family,(and they are not actually my "blood" family) is that they really do live and let live. There has never to my knowledge ever been a family bust up or squabbles between siblings. All that from a group of people who had a father who was no role model at all.

However my ex's family I found to be amazing. Totally disfunctional with constant fall outs and sibling rivalry even from people who are now in their 60's. Truth hardly ever prevails amongst them and they are all handicapped by such a blinkered and judgemental outlook on life that at times one really wonders do they possess any intelligence at all.

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

You know my GF's brothers???? :lol:

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Well thank goodness for that, I'm not alone! Sister and I don't get on, nothing in common, everytime I see her she has to be nasty and underhand with me, usually ends up with me hitting back, so I'm then the one that gets in trouble.
Would be happy never to have to speak to her again.

Lou x

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Ha ha. Yes, quite sure in some other households in my family, my wife and I are a pain in the ar$e, but then thats why I spend my time in my own happy household and limit the time I spend in theirs. They are quite welcome to do the same.

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

Bloody hell. I never knew this happened. I think I must be lucky, my family is Rock solid, we all get on, little things cause arguments but they dont go anywhere. Very close to them all, trust them with anything.

Out of the rest my Uncle is a bit wierd but our families still get on in a way... He is a materialist and because they are a little better off than us think they are better. Fortunatly for us we can see past that and know we have something they dont.

If I couldnt trust my family then I dont know what id do.

Re: Is blood thicker than water
 

I don't wish it on anyone but it's honestly such a relief that other people have all this crap too. I hate being dragged in - it simply rakes up all the muck from years ago - but I can see it's all getting nasty. I like the option of telling them all to get lost, and being an island.