update on my little cousin
 

as a few of you know/will remember- few moths ago we found out my 13 year cousin is pregnant,
thought it was time for a update
The boyfriend is no longer on the scene (no suprises there!) :rolleyes:, and best bit that you gotto laugh at is hes having councelling!!! :confused::neutral::rolleyes:

Shes been hospital a few times as baby stopped kicking/moving-turned out it had just turned round and was kicking her in the back :rolleyes:
Its a little boy-no name yet.

Shes in hospital at mo with a catherter in as its squashing her bladder-leaving docs to thinks shes alot further along then they thought-as in shes only got 4 weeks to go :pale:, she doesnt seem to KNOW when it would have happened meaning it wasnt a "one off/first time accident" :rolleyes:

she STILL doing the "if i shut my eyes/ears it'll go away/its not happening" and will sit round my nans with a cushion over her bump.

Find out 2moz (i think) if shes gonna have to have him by c-section :pale:, due to her age/size (shes tiny-about a size 8-10), if it is by c-section itl be general and epidural.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Bloody hell, good luck with all that. My cousin had a kid at 16 and she doesn't know the father's name to this day, and he's a wonderful little boy. She did the whole burying head in sand thing too and she snapped out of it. Hopefully it'll work out for her :)

Re: update on my little cousin
 

another so called man who couldent stand up to his responsabilities glad that
things are going a bit better ,i did think about how things were getting on the other week , well lots of:grouphug: for the near future i hope it all goes well
paul

Re: update on my little cousin
 

If you're gonna play football you gotta look after the pitch...or something like that.

What's he having counselling for? Sounds like it's better off that he's out of her life to be honest...

Re: update on my little cousin
 

What about 'Tiger'?

Just a thought...

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Blimey, its all go in PawsLand. Terrible situation for your cousin to be in, but then some of the responsibility does lie with her, and the rest lies with the boyfreind - who's a sod for clearing off. But then they are both young, and the looming responsibility is enough to make anyone want to run away at that age (dosn't make it right though)

I hope the little boy is brought into the world succesfully, and I wish him all the best and hope that he gets all the love and care an innocent newborn deserves, and hopefully he can be sheilded from any potential trouble concerning who-gets-what-access-when and stuff like that. Good luck to your cousin aswell for the birth; sounds like its gonna be very stressful for her.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

is it yours then?

Re: update on my little cousin
 

13...:o:eek:

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Whilst not being her first time, this is definately the first time an accident has happened. Perhaps it's because I'm outside the situation, but the stuff that's happened has happened. Aint no point crying over spilt milk etc.

As for the Ostrich Effect, generally speaking, the moment a new mother sees her first born for the very first time, is a revolutionary life changing moment. Many a first time mother suddenly realises the situation, and acts accordingly. Hopefully this will be the case here.

The father (note "father" not "dad")? Maybe he needs a chat with K. Her solution to most things seems appropriate.

For the initial situation, certainly. However, if he's not around later on, it will undoubtedly have a massive impact on the little lad. All anyone can do for this is to support the mother, as undoubtedly questions will arise such as "Who is my dad?" and "Why aren't you & my dad together anymore?" and I wouldn't be supprised if "Were you planning to have me, or was it an accident?" or worse still came up. Non of those questions are easy for any parent to answer - regardless of age.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Well, I feel that I may have a unique take on this one...

My mum had me at 14, with the love and support of her parents she raised me without the help of a father figure into the guy you all know and love today...

Now I'm not saying it wasn't without it's difficulties, and it may be that the kid turns out just like me*, so warn her about that, but it may be OK in the long run.





*A key sign of this will be if it's first words are "Mmmmmm... Boobs..."

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Hi Daddy Bear :smt081

Yea, this is what I hope - the kid is gonna be born with all this controversy surrounding him, and I hope that he will still be loved etc, not be a scapegoat for anger or things like that because of the circumstances in which he was conceived.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

so the pedo gets away with it plus gets counciling? what for to stop him being a nonse?

Re: update on my little cousin
 

As long as the little 'un gets love, he'll turn out fine.

I don't know who my real dad is and tbh I only wonder about him every now and then. My eldest niece tracked down her dad (my sister had her at 16) and after a while he pushed her away to get on with his life and new family. Probably better that the boy in this case has scarpered. If things aren't planned with him in mind, only to have him run at a later stage everything should work out with the least difficulty.

It's unfortunate that the girl's ended up with this so early on, but it's not all over for her. With support she'll get through.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

calm down caveman! you can put your torches away for a bit....if i recall from the original thread the father isn't a 25 year old "adult" he's of similar age.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

17 or 18 i belive........ so you think this is ok?

Re: update on my little cousin
 

I like that:smt005

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'kin 'ell... that's awful... :o

Re: update on my little cousin
 

no i dont. but im not going to sit here and judge without knowing everything (ok very unlike me i know!). you believe it to be 17 or 18? so it could be 15 or 16? so there may only be 2 years between them? ...

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Here we go peeps :rolleyes: ;)

http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?t=110435


Ben

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Lets face it, a 16 year old (of either gender) being intimate with a 15 year old (again, of either gender) is legally pedophillia.

I don't think many people in their right mind would go down that road over such a close age "gap" though.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

It takes 2 to tango, as it was a "consenting relationship" you can't blame him solely.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

As I said in the original thread about my lads girlfriend, she with no preggy bump produced an unexpected bundle an hour after waters broke. Us blokes can comment in blissful ignorance about the process. However, the way nature intended is obviously best even if she is "small".


As for the future. There will be a child. Has she accepted that she is to be a mum. That it is a full time occupation, that she still needs to go to school, balance it with being a mum etc.

Whilst there is some help out there, it is never enough.

I just hope all her friends see what she is going through and say "Not for me" rather than the "That looks like fun, I think I will have a baby too"

Re: update on my little cousin
 

I *think* actually it's not legally paedophilia - to be a paedophile you are intentionally looking for the features, behaviour, etc of a child as opposed to an adult, so I think it is set to 12 years old or below (many teenagers below 16 can look & behave like adults). Stand to be corrected though.

It's besides the point though, as regardless the law says that people below 16 cannot consent, so saying the 13 year old consented doesn't hold water in court.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

The legal definition of a pedophile is "An adult who indulges in sexual acts with a minor child and attains sexual gratification." Speaking legally, in sexual terms, an "adult" is someone aged over the age of consent - as you said, 16. Also a "child" or "minor" is someone below the age of consent.

Regardless of if the age difference is two days, it's still legally pedophillia.

But you're right on the consent issue - which is probably why the giant scrotum has sought councelling, to mitigate any comeback because of the consent issue.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

As others have said, with much support, this young girl can make it. It is unfortunate that this has happened so early on in her life, but what's done is done and soon there'll be a new baby to give much love to.

It's amazing how strong the maternal instinct can be. When she sees her baby for the first time, it may indeed be the making of her.

I wish her all the best.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

It may well have been a different country's laws or something in that case - it was basically to prevent the issue that this guy would be labelled a paedophile rather than a 'standard' (if there is such a thing) sex offender. Whilst what he did was wrong, given he knew her age, he wasn't getting aroused by the fact she was a child (as far as I know anyway!).

Re: the counselling - you mean so he can say he was traumatised by it?

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Actually I think this might give a few clues: http://www.crimeinfo.org.uk/servlet/...ory=factsheets

Bit of a nasty thing to read but it says attraction to adolescents 13 and above is something different to paedophilia.

I'm going to stop going into this now though, not a very nice topic!

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Sexual attraction to adolescents is ephebophilia, though as previously mentioned, the law doesn't seem to take this into account as it views anyone below 16 as a child.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Irrespective of all the moralising I hope your family can make it all work Paws.Good luck.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Cheers guys,
yes the father is 18 :rolleyes:
As far as im aware (as im still not on speaking terms with her-harsh maybe but its my choice-end of) is that the little boy will be adopted once hes born, cosuin does have final decision/say in it-but thats the plan for the mo.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

I hope it all works out well and if she decides to keep it and she's happy then great....but I don't understand why she would be planning to have the baby and then put it up for adoption? Surely it would have been better just to have an abortion rather than bring an unwanted baby in to an already over-crowded world?

I don't mean to sound harsh, I just don't get it! :confused::(

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Adopted - Far be it for me to judge, but that does lift my spirits.

Re, being small, for a 13 yr old to be verging on a size 10 would be verging on clinically obese AFAIC => as nature intended - might make her think what she's putting up there after what comes out

Re: update on my little cousin
 

You selfish barst*** abortion is wrong for a reason, together with, think of all the childless couples out there which makes one additional human in this overcrowded* world pale into insignificance




*overcrowding is not even true throughout the UK

Re: update on my little cousin
 

.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

What reason?!

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It's murder of a viable life

Re: update on my little cousin
 

go on.....

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Ok then :rolleyes:...we're obviously not gonna get very far on this one so I'll not even go there. This is about someone potentially giving up a child that they didn't intend to conceive and don't want to raise themselves, not the rights and wrongs of abortion.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

Keep your ignorant christian views to yourself thanks.

Re: update on my little cousin
 

You don't have to be a Christian to believe that.