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Shellywoozle 07-10-08 07:21 PM

Disappointed in a friend
 
I have a good mate and I have recently found out that the friend has told some acquantaince some awful things about me saying I am a nut case and my head is a mess due to things that happened to me as a child. :confused:

I am livid what would you do if this was you?

I kinda want revenge but that is not my style, I feel hurt and let down.

I am a nut case mind but not cause I been messed with (which this part of my life I can't recall but it must have happened cause they said so ) :shock: that's down to being a Woozle

Baph 07-10-08 07:28 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
:grouphug:

TBH, my approach would be to talk to the 3rd party (the person that was told) and explain that they'd get less bull**** if they went to a cattle market!!

Then, just cut the guilty party out, have nothing to do with them. It's not worth the stress.

Shellywoozle 07-10-08 07:29 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Baph (Post 1647185)
:grouphug:

TBH, my approach would be to talk to the 3rd party (the person that was told) and explain that they'd get less bull**** if they went to a cattle market!!

Then, just cut the guilty party out, have nothing to do with them. It's not worth the stress.

I have done exactly that but still hurts toknow that someone I thought alot of obviously hates me and thinks it funny to talk about me. I guess they didnt expect me to have an indepth chat with the 3rd party.

Fireworks day may be early this year

Blue_SV650S 07-10-08 07:32 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
I think your nutter-ness actually all stems back to that time I took you roughly from behind ... (by surprise) :D

Shellywoozle 07-10-08 07:33 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_SV650S (Post 1647189)
I think your nutter-ness actually all stems back to that time I took you roughly from behind ... :D

Oh yeah it could have started from then ;) the affect you had on me baby

Blue_SV650S 07-10-08 07:35 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shellywoozle (Post 1647190)
Oh yeah it could have started from then ;) the affect you had on me baby

Well {trying to keep U-rated} 'it' rattled ya brain about a fair bit in the process didn't it!! :D

Blue_SV650S 07-10-08 07:38 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
p.s. Do you want me to repeat the process on your friend to 'learn' her like I did you!?!? :D

Sean_C 07-10-08 07:39 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
It takes a long time for me to tell people about myself/life/past in any detail.. A lot of talking and building trust. Should someone abuse that trust I'd be livid.. Have a think so that you can go and talk to both, say what you want to say, and get your point across without being irate.. Taking the time to think so you can calm down (twas days for me). Hope you sort things out ok..

neio79 07-10-08 07:42 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
confront him in front of all to show him up . See what he has to say then. Or ill get some mates and we will come up and have a word .

Shellywoozle 07-10-08 07:51 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by neio79 (Post 1647197)
confront him in front of all to show him up . See what he has to say then. Or ill get some mates and we will come up and have a word .

Who said it was a he :smt026

I am hoping the fact I never speak to this friend again will upset them. The fact what they told the 3rd party sounds complete tosh and I am mad that they would want to make me look like a fruit and nut case to get them looking good.

What goes around comes around and it need have no influence by me.

Sean, at this moment in time I can't ever see myself calming down. But I am sure I will in time as I am a big softy and will end up feeling sorry for my mate (ex mate).

Sean_C 07-10-08 07:57 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Never talking to somebody again is something I wouldn't find particularly difficult. Gets your point across, if you can do it ;)

Speedy Claire 07-10-08 08:00 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Sorry to hear this Shell... can understand you feeling betrayed. Take a few days to calm down as has already been suggested. Then when you`re calmer approach this friend. Afterwards you will still probably never want to speak to him/her again but at least you will have let them know how disgusted you are in them x

Shellywoozle 07-10-08 08:01 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sean_C (Post 1647214)
Never talking to somebody again is something I wouldn't find particularly difficult. Gets your point across, if you can do it ;)

I have done this partially, then I got more information and I had already said my piece and good byes by then. I figured they can't respect me enough to do this to me so why should I let them know they have really hurt me.

Why do people manipulate others for their own means .. how cruel is that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Speedy Claire (Post 1647218)
Sorry to hear this Shell... can understand you feeling betrayed. Take a few days to calm down as has already been suggested. Then when you`re calmer approach this friend. Afterwards you will still probably never want to speak to him/her again but at least you will have let them know how disgusted you are in them x


Yeah I may feel different in couple of days, when the Woozle has vented

xXBADGERXx 07-10-08 08:21 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
A shovel , a Dark night , and 10 acres of land .

Paws 07-10-08 08:31 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
BIGG BIGG huggs huni,
can me and you get anymore alike in certain things that have gone on in our life over the past year and bit LOL.
Its times like this you find out who your true mates are, ive been there (and am actually still going therough it), at end of dy someone is jealous as you have a better/happier life than what they have and they want to true and make you miserable, just ignore it- act like the adult 9even though we all know your a big kid) ;) amnd stay being yourself, loves ya just the way you are :) x

phil24_7 07-10-08 08:33 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Name and address of said friend please, I'm sure I have some words of advice for them though I may not be very articulate with them!

Shellywoozle 07-10-08 08:38 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Paws (Post 1647246)
BIGG BIGG huggs huni,
can me and you get anymore alike in certain things that have gone on in our life over the past year and bit LOL.
Its times like this you find out who your true mates are, ive been there (and am actually still going therough it), at end of dy someone is jealous as you have a better/happier life than what they have and they want to true and make you miserable, just ignore it- act like the aaadult 9even though we all know your a big kid) ;) amnd stay being yourself, loves ya just the way you are :) x


Aww Paws you just made me cry with that and your text. God knows why I am so upset, this is so not like me :( I think 2 hours talking to 3rd party has just about topped it all off, I have had to make myself say night to them as it was all too much.

We have pretty mirrored lives over the past year ain't we mate, difference being you have a wonderful caring man in your life and I have a mad dog. (some say they both the same LOL, men and dogs - not you Mat ya lovely ;))

Quote:

Originally Posted by phil24_7 (Post 1647247)
Name and address of said friend please, I'm sure I have some words of advice for them though I may not be very articulate with them!

Aww fankoo but me would never disclose the ex mates details as I fear they will get what they deserve in life. I am not going to lower myself to their levels

phil24_7 07-10-08 08:41 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Fair enough though the offer remains open!

Oh, and your probably better off with the mad dog, just ask Kate!!

Paws 07-10-08 09:15 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shellywoozle (Post 1647254)
Aww Paws you just made me cry with that and your text. God knows why I am so upset, this is so not like me :( I think 2 hours talking to 3rd party has just about topped it all off, I have had to make myself say night to them as it was all too much.

We have pretty mirrored lives over the past year ain't we mate, difference being you have a wonderful caring man in your life and I have a mad dog. (some say they both the same LOL, men and dogs - not you Mat ya lovely ;))


Your upset as someone you was close to has betrayed your trust and dragged (or tried to) your name through the mud for their own sad and selfish reasons, yer we have had alot of issues that are alike havent we lol, and trust me-i had to kiss ALOT of frogs (or should that be toads??) to get my prince ;) (ok i'll stop with the sloppy stuff now), told ya-id swop matt for sammy-both snore, both hairy and both naughty LOL
Dont cry sweetie and dont let it get you down, your a bright and bubbley lass and we loves ya that way :kiss:, if you dare to change i'd be forced to slap ya ;)

Shellywoozle 07-10-08 09:21 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Paws (Post 1647307)
Your upset as someone you was close to has betrayed your trust and dragged (or tried to) your name through the mud for their own sad and selfish reasons, yer we have had alot of issues that are alike havent we lol, and trust me-i had to kiss ALOT of frogs (or should that be toads??) to get my prince ;) (ok i'll stop with the sloppy stuff now), told ya-id swop matt for sammy-both snore, both hairy and both naughty LOL
Dont cry sweetie and dont let it get you down, your a bright and bubbley lass and we loves ya that way :kiss:, if you dare to change i'd be forced to slap ya ;)

Oh I will hold you to that slap. I may enjoy it LOL.

Although I may be smiling again on Friday as I have a date with a biker mate (not an orger) who has been after me for ages. I have decided, if for the wrong reasons I don't care, to give in and see him. He is lovely and I put him off as I didnt have time for a bloke. For some unknown reason he has not given up the chase and he won ! Shell gave in to a man and I hope he can cheer me up and make me smile and forget my hassle.

I shall keep ya's updated ;)

MiniMatt 07-10-08 09:33 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
First off before you go cutting off friendships it's surely worth double checking we haven't just got wires crossed here. Sounds like you're going on third hand information here and perhaps it's worth giving your friend the benefit of the doubt first? I agree that true friends wouldn't do that to you, but I also know that true friends balls things up from time to time.

As a potential scenario, is it possible that third party said something like "Shell went off on one over something completely innocuous I said", and your friend said "Go easy on her, she had a rough childhood that involved nasty scenario X/Y/Z", chinese whispers develop and somehow the impression gathered is that your friend has been telling stories and spilling personal sensitive confidences.

Shellywoozle 07-10-08 09:41 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MiniMatt (Post 1647340)
First off before you go cutting off friendships it's surely worth double checking we haven't just got wires crossed here. Sounds like you're going on third hand information here and perhaps it's worth giving your friend the benefit of the doubt first? I agree that true friends wouldn't do that to you, but I also know that true friends balls things up from time to time.

As a potential scenario, is it possible that third party said something like "Shell went off on one over something completely innocuous I said", and your friend said "Go easy on her, she had a rough childhood that involved nasty scenario X/Y/Z", chinese whispers develop and somehow the impression gathered is that your friend has been telling stories and spilling personal sensitive confidences.

I will give the friend a chance to explain but I am going to hide some info I know for defo and see how they play it. Like keeping crucial evidence from a defense solicitor in interview and watching their client crumble in front of them :) ha ha ha I feel cruel as I am hurting, is that bad LOL

TazDaz 07-10-08 09:46 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Shelly - if you know 100% what's been said and you didn't like it, I'd assess whether it's worth spending time trying to talk to him/her. Is what's been said something which can be brushed under the carpet and forgotten about? If it isn't then it's going to be hard to continue the relationship anyways, so might be best to call it quits.

Shellywoozle 07-10-08 09:49 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TazDaz (Post 1647359)
Shelly - if you know 100% what's been said and you didn't like it, I'd assess whether it's worth spending time trying to talk to him/her. Is what's been said something which can be brushed under the carpet and forgotten about? If it isn't then it's going to be hard to continue the relationship anyways, so might be best to call it quits.

No it can't be brushed under the carpet, I suppose all I want is to know why they did it. But I think you are right, calling it quits is the best.

Gutted but I have plenty of mates who I know are true.

Lozzo 07-10-08 10:19 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_SV650S (Post 1647189)
I think your nutter-ness actually all stems back to that time I took you roughly from behind ... (by surprise) :D

You too huh?

Blimey, she must have it bad then.

Lozzo 07-10-08 10:21 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by xXBADGERXx (Post 1647235)
A shovel , a Dark night , and 10 acres of land .


And two sacks of lime powder

Dangerous Dave 08-10-08 07:11 AM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Confront your friend....

Tara 08-10-08 07:17 AM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dangerous Dave (Post 1647524)
Confront your friend....

+1 with that listen to what they say first

RichT 08-10-08 10:18 AM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
I'd be mad, but prob feel sad for said friend and cut them out (at least for a while).

If the most important thing in his/her life is to gossip about your personal matters, those that were intrusted to them, then they're either sad, lacking in sensitivity/compassion or simply thoughtless.

Next time you see him/her. Tell them you're really disappointed in them and leave it at that. Cut them out for a while, until they have properly appologised. If not, it's their loss.

clanger 08-10-08 12:32 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Nah...it wouldn't bother me too much, it's not worth wasting time thinking about. Although if it is worrying you, perhaps you should either a) ask the offending friend about it outright, or b) don't tell them anything else about you from now onwards, c) invent something really juicy and tell them and see how long it takes to get back to you...thus making it really funny!

stewie 08-10-08 01:00 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Thats the trouble with friends, it hurts more when one lets you down like this, Id confront them and get the truth out of em and take it from there, good luck with it :D

silverelephant 08-10-08 01:02 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
I agree with what many have already said, confront your "friend" and give them the opportunity to give their side of the story - is it possible that the 3rd party is the one doing the stirring??

Try and be calm and see what they have to say, if you don't like it or don't believe them, that's when you make the decision whether to cut them out. Betrayal is such a horrible thing to experience and I can only say from my own personal experience that if you feel yourself missing them, just remember what they've done, it gets easier. (Being a Scorpio helps as I can hold a grudge for yeeeeeears haha)

Can't make any comments on your nuttiness as I don't know you but you're not alone lol :smt026 Hugs x

Geoffrey 08-10-08 01:05 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dangerous Dave (Post 1647524)
Confront your friend....

+ 1, if they do not understand you are not pleased with them they may think it is ok to do it again.

Shellywoozle 08-10-08 04:45 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Just read all your replies thank you for your advice. I didnt sleep much last night and I am finding it hard to work out fact from fiction in all this.

I tried to call my friend this morning and the phone was off, which made me fear something bad may have happened and that started me thinking into how much they mean to me and how I would miss them. I am a big softy and don't hold grudges and I figured life is too short. Maybe I have just calmed down, but I finally made contact and are going to meet up.

I have no intentions of arguing, I just want to hear the truth even if it is bad and I won't like it. Suppose I should forgive and be the better person.

I know my friend is hurting by what they have done and they have said sorry.

big hugs back to you all - fankoo xx

Dangerous Dave 08-10-08 05:15 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
I hope it works out.

missyburd 08-10-08 06:31 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
He/she'll get their comeuppance, tis a disgusting way to treat a friend and betray them like that. I personally wouldn't confront them as I'd be in danger of going completely off on one and no doubt saying something I'd regret, the silent treatment is usually a good bet. However, if you've only heard this from someone else then, as people have said, tis only fair to give them a chance. Only the one chance mind!

Hope you can start feeling better about it soon, this sort of thing is horrible to deal/cope/try and forget about #hug#

Shellywoozle 08-10-08 09:48 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Well we have made up, I have listened to my mate's side and they are in bits. They are genuinly sorry and have admitted to the majority, maybe 3rd party did a bit of stirring.

Funny thing is I never shouted, never questioned the honesty and acted how I would not normally act in these situations. I used to be fiesty and firey, maybe I am calming down a bit - things will be forgotten as life is too short.

I am still hurting but in time those feelings will pass. But if they ever hurt me again I will not be so nice next time LOL

Hoping I can sleep tonight now and I may actually do some work tomorrow instead of day dreaming and getting angry !

Thanks all I needed to vent last night and you helped ! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

xXBADGERXx 08-10-08 09:49 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Hopefully a Happy ending , if they hurt you again , then HUNT THEM DOWN :D

Shellywoozle 08-10-08 09:58 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by xXBADGERXx (Post 1648684)
Hopefully a Happy ending , if they hurt you again , then HUNT THEM DOWN :D

Oh don't worry they won't get a 2nd chance and I WILL let them know they messed with the wrong Woozle LOL

But we all make mistakes, I made enough in my past. Anyway I have sown my mates gob up with rusty fishing wire so no more jackanories.

xXBADGERXx 08-10-08 10:01 PM

Re: Disappointed in a friend
 
Nobody gets a second chance with me I`m afraid to say . I keep very good friends around me who have never said a word out of turn apart from Banter :D . The last person that crossed me ended up moving away from the area ...... I suppose it was a case of that or get dangled over a rather large cliff ........ but anyway , enough of that :D


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