Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

You know the one. Telepathy. You've all got it. And I *know* when you were taught it. Just give me the cure.

Now, before you collectively say, "But Kinvig, what are you on about?" The secret is out. It's been out for a while, you've given yourselves away.

I'll tell you what I'm on about. There I am on the up escalator at, for example, Waterloo - the locatiob is irrelevent, it could be anywhere.....in front of me there is a pretty lady. For one whole second, and not more than that, I think, "Wow, she's pretty. She's got child bearing hips". And in that second there....what happens? She turns around looks me right in the eyes & gives me a look that could kill kittens. Every single time - not that it's a regular occurance. Y'know I don't re-new my travel card, thinking, "Yay - the northern line is busted therefore more girls getting off at Waterloo" - that would require way too much planning.

How does she know? Well, it's obvious, there's only 2 explanations: witch-craft or telepathy. And I know when it happened. There was that time at school. All the boys were made to do that "extra" gym lesson whereas all the girls got that hour in the assembly hall with the curtains drawn so the boys couldn't look in...and oh how we tried....that was it - that's when you were taught the secret of telepathy.

So help me out.....I don't need to know the secret, just tell me how I can circumvent it. Will lead dampen the signals or how about a colendar with tin foil? Perhaps if I sing to myself?


Or perhaps I shouldn't go for a beer after work to celebrate the exchange of my contract & think too much aobut stuff? Woohoo, I'm buying a house!

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

some how you lot always know when im perving :confused:

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

They know because they are cleverer than us boys are, when you have learnt to accept this as fact then you have learned a great and important lesson in life...

Actually I suspect its down to body language and us boys giving off not so subtle signals about what we are or are not thinking or perhaps even thinking with...

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

lmao....the fact you had your hands on her ass have anything to do wiv it?

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

may be it's your inner monologue....

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

OK you have got us.

The cure is as follows although it wont work unless we get photographic proof that you have indeed carried out the following:-

First half moon of the month you must run round a garden that has a wishing well in it three times (absence of a wishing well may be substitued with a bowl of water that you have thrown a penny into and made a wish upon). Whilst running around said garden you must have a bra upon your head.

This cure will only work however until you next get caught by a girl you were perving over.

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

In another lifetime, when I was young and slim, it was quite flattering to 'turn heads' when you entered a room or wherever.
I always just looked straight ahead, avoided eye contact, and kept walking, but I just KNEW I was getting 'eyed-up'. How did I know? We can feel your eyes on us! It's a sixth sense that they tell us about in that 'girls only' hour at school!:rolleyes:

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Were you drooling at the time with ya bottom lip on the floor? Dead give away that

http://www.dogmine.com/fun/drooling.jpg

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

ts that look....it screams perv!

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

When you get caught, just keep on staring. Maybe even throw in a raised eyebrow or an appreciative thumbs up. Chicks totally dig it.

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

what you need to learn mate is something called "dry cleaning" . do it well, and people wont even know your there unless you want them to.

examples;

1) check out that must have bargin in the window, but use the glass as a mirror.
2) make that important phone call
3) tie you shoe lace

loads more....but i aint giving away ALL my secrets...lol

or as the poster above says ...let 'em know . groovy baby!

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Just get older - you won't give a monkeys when you get caught looking.

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

One quick glance then close your eye's and picture what you have seen. The less time you spend looking the better. Also remember your face tells a thousand lies :-)

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

The secret is revealed in "The Ugly Truth"


...Good movie :)

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Its strange isnt it, i followed a girl the other day in my local tescos just glanced at her bum and also noticed her tatto on her lower back, i also thought hmm nice, walking to may car i see her again but coming towards me, we both make eye contact, i smiled, she smiled back, so i blurted "Do i know you from somewhere?" :confused: we used to go to school together (I knew that any way but i'd feel like a prat if i said hi like i knew her) so i asked how she was and she answered the asked me, after my reply i just said see ya, so she probably just thinks im a wierdo now :) but at least she doesnt think im a perve :D

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

you get board of looking at t!ts when your my hight..:rolleyes:

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

I went to a martial arts class in Plymouth years ago, taught by an ex marine named Dusty and his thing was that you had to pick up the intention of what other people were thinking. However it is just possible that he was mad! :smt092

As for picking up a guys thoughts, we have had to learn what you lot are thinking ever since you dragged our great great great great ... great great great Grandmothers back to your caves for a romantic dinner of raw Mammoth and ferns! :love:

We have had some practice... :-|

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

mmmmmm......mammoth and ferns! :p

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

what is it with this?! i've been told that about 15 times and what does it mean? am i more attractive to men because i could easily bear their children?!?!?!?!!? or are people trying to tell me i have a big bum? [/rant]

on the knowing thing - we just know. we always know. dont try and understand, accept it and move on, just cos you wanna be able to do it yourself so you know when you're in with a chance :P

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Yup, so start spilling the beans will ya!

And the child bearing hips thing is just the caveman in us, its a good thing and has nothing to do with the size of your bum :)

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Are you sure you didn't say it out loud?

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

It'll make a change ot running around drunk with my pants on my head...please loan me one bra ;o)

let me guess - you have mirros on your shoes?!! ;o)

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Yes she does.

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

+1, you can start younger, but you need to make a concious decision to do so.

I have an agreement with my wife that I can look, i can even chat, but I can't touch. The chatting sometimes gets met with a frosty reception afterwards, but at least I've told her!

I've told her that when I stop looking is when she has to start worrying! 'Cos either I've got a mistress or I've turned all Michael Barrymore.

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Explain that you are involved in a VPL Survey and would the lady like to enter her name and address in a free draw for a night out-----------Might work:D:D:D

Any excuse is better than none

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Or you have a dismembered hooker, wrapped up in plastic and an old carpet, in the boot of your car... :smt059


Now where did I leave the car keys...:-k

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Just tell her you were admiring her backside - you can hardly look anywhere else when on a escalator!!

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

i believe the short answer to that is .....

yes

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

lol, does that mean that I'm not the only person to have done this?

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

:smt046 WTF :smt104 :help:

I was referring to Michael Barrymore's "I'm married with kids, but guess what, I'm bent as a nine bob note", not to his propensity for dead boys in the swimming pool.

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

No, it simply means our subconscious has tweaked to the fact that someone comes from a family that likes having children. If you like having children it means that you like sex. If you like sex, it means you must practice it lots. If you practise something it must mean you are good at it.

So at the end of the day we made the leap of faith, using straight forward logic, that you must be sex goddess in bed because you have child bearing hips. ;)

It is a good thing. Does that clear things up? :)

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Don't perpetuate the myth...

Listen to this man, he talks sense.

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

you think too much. I just... drool =P~

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

:(

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

The male human body provides only enough blood to operate our brains or our ****s (U rating :() at one time.
And we aren't suttle about it, and they love it really, even though their facial expression doesn't seem to agree with that last statement :)

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

Hah! Well seeing as i've borne (?) three children that must make me a super-mega-ultra sex goddess, and if not then i'll just carry on practising until i reach that supreme status :-)

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

No wonder Slapshot looks exhausted :p

Re: Girls of the org, tell me the secret
 

[QUOTE=Raf;1992796] that you must be sex goddess in bed because you have child bearing hips. ;)


me too, either sex goddess or got something the size of a bucket :D