Persuading the girlfriend to ride pillion.
 

I really wanna take my girl out on my bike but she is really scared of it. I took her for a ride in the summer and went realy slowly, (stayed within the speed limits etc) and when she got off she didnt talk to me for an hour. Now ever time i wanna go out on my bike and she is here it ends up in an argument.

Any1 got any advice on how to persuade her its safe? Its not like i'm going everywhere at warp speed and doing 100mph wheelies. I dont get it.

My wife is exactly the same and refuses to get on it - hence the rear seat cowl now.

I decided rather than waste my time arguing, I just disappear for a ride...........Saves her messing up the bike as she has to my car too!!!

You could find out what her objection is. Sometimes it's something as daft as she thinks she looks silly sitting there, or could be something more serious like fear of DEATH.

I wouldn't try and force her. I don't like riding pillion and avoid it if possible, so I can completely understand how a non-biker wouldn't like it.

Book her on CBT as a surprise gift - hey it's Valentine's Day soon - she'll be hooked and happy to be on two wheels any which way.

Also, a splurge on some leather gear and constant repitition of precisely how fabulous, beautiful and sexy she looks in it.

I wouldn't bother. Just enjoy your riding.

Re: Persuading the girlfriend to ride pillion.
 

Safe? It's hardly safe - no point lying about it. Time for the new year's model perhaps?

If she doesn't want to, you cant make her.

I was lucky, I actually had my wife hasseling me as to when I would take her on the back once I got my license :)

If she hassles you now, imagine what it will be like if you have an off.

I know a couple of people who have been forced to get rid of bikes because "the wife doesnt like them" - one being the consultant I saw at the hospital (who had planned on getting an SV last year but wasnt allowed) and the other being a neighbour who had his mate die in an accident (I dont think they were riding together) and is now looking to sell his bike because he is not allowed to use it.

So if you had to choose between bird or bike.......

David

Find out what her issues with a bike are first, and then approach each, easing her mind in a rational manner. Be informative but also support her decision if it's still a no-go.


Bike. It's part of what make's me, well, me. So if you want that gone = nuff said really.

Get her to talk to Mrs Viper. I never thought she would get on the bike. (lost dad to a bike accident)
she has now been on the bike and is also a member of the .org.
It can happen :wink:

Re: Persuading the girlfriend to ride pillion.
 

It's not. End of story. You need to address your misconception.

As others have said, what's more important to you, the bike, or the other half?

It's understandable for you to want to share your hobby/enjoyment with your partner, but it's not understandable to force that on her. If she doesn't want to, try to reassure her that you'll be as careful as possible, and that if she doesn't want to be on 2 wheels, that she doesn't have to be. Is this really an ultimatum situation? Is it worth all the arguments? If the answer to that last question is a no, you need to work out which way the gate swings, it wont be both ways.

If you want to spend time with her, find something that she enjoys doing, and both of you do that.

Biking is a selfish passion, not to be shared with loved ones :wink:

That's my POV on the matter too. You can dislike my bike, just like you can dislike my hair, or toes, or whatever, but if you dislike it so much that you don't want to be with me, fair enough, bye bye. I've been quite upfront about it from day one and have said that if I ever quit, it'll be through my choice alone. I've also pre-emptively said that even if I have a serious accident, I will consider going back to riding and that if she want's to make an ultimatum at some (hopefully non-existant, touch wood! :) ) point in the future on the back of an accident, she will be sorely disappointed then, too.

If you 'encourage' her and then it goes t*ts up, she will never forgive you, or you will never forgive yourself. If you are passionate about it, enjoy it, don't force her. Find something you both enjoy. I hate it if I think someone is doing something just to please me, it takes away the idea of shared fun. Just see your biking as an opportunity to have time to yourself, she can go shopping or whatever it is she enjoys and then you can get together and tell each other what you have been upto, instead of rowing because you scared her

You could always try using an intercom sytem with her..maybe she might go pillion with you if she can talk to you nad say when shes scared etc??

My missus doesn't like me riding my bike but she would never think of asking / telling me to get rid of it. As someone else has already said, its what defines me. I am a biker and always will be.

Full marks to her, she REALLY doesn't like bikes. She always says a quick "be careful on that thing" when I go out on it. Bless her heart :D

If your missus doesn't like going pillion then, sadly for you, there isn't much you can do about it.

I can't personally understand anyone not loving bikes, but we have friends who's wives/partners really don't like them and wouldn't get on the back.

Do you have any friends with bikes whose girlfriends ride pillion regularly who could maybe speak to your girlfriend about their experiences and why they love it? You can try to re-assure her all you like, but she's probably going to be thinking 'Well, you would say that'. Maybe an opinion from a third party with no vested interest might help.

Everyone is different, and if she really doesn't like bikes don't try and change her.
For what it's worth my girl was persuaded by the convenience factor, she wouldn't come with me on it to the shops but if we are flying from an airport she'll get on the back because we can park for free and we don't have to leave 7 hours early in case the M25 is shut.
She also came over with me to france on it for much the same reason, cheaper on the eurotunnel, cheaper on fuel and traffic jam proof.
In my mind an intercomm is pretty much essential, otherwise life on the back is a cold lonely scary experience.

I assume you have an SV - SVs are OKish for passengers, reasonably comfortable. But if you had a bike more specifically designed for pillion comfort you might stand a better chance. Couldn't you borrow something that fits the bill and see if she would change her mind?

Personal experience is that if someone has made up their mind it's very hard to change it. If she really won't consider it then drop the subject as you'll only end up having a row. She might come round eventually when she sees that you're having terrific fun and that she's being left out. But don't be surprised if it comes to an ultimatum. And if it does, you need to know what you're going to do.

There is no way that I can imagine getting the Mrs on the back.

She won't even ride a push bike!

I would like to go on a touring holiday, but clearly there is no hope of that.......... unless I go on a male only trip !!!!!!!!!!

Her reasons for not going on the bile are fairly simple, nothing to do with image, comfort, communications, she is just plain terrified

There's nothing that I can foresee that will ever change that, so its either give up riding, or do it on my own.

Anybody got a copper seat cowl going cheap!

Reading through the above fits well with my confusing missus...

SWMBO just will not countenance going pillion - she's scared witless of the idea. She can't understand why I love bikes and biking. She complains bitterly whenever I utter the words 'Mmmm, looks like a nice day....' at the weekend.

But - she's the one who bought me DAS for my birthday. She's the one who made me buy the blue 55 plate pointy (which I secretly wanted) for a grand more than the red W plate curvy I was looking at because I thought it was the price range I should be considering (even though I didn't like it as much). She's happy for me to bugger off for a week in June to ride around the Highlands with a tent... and last Saturday I got up to find a note left on the toilet seat for me - 'As it's a nice day I thought you'd like to go out on your bike. So I've gone to the MetroCentre to keep myself amused'.

I love my missus :D

Ahah, exactly. My missus wants to ride with me but that defeats the whole purpose of riding for me.

My wife got on the back of the bike 25 years ago and we had gone 0.0 yards when she started screaming and got off. She has not tried again.

Despite her fear and her anxiety about me riding she lets me get on with it and even opens and shuts the garage and garden gate for me (helps to prevent dog terrorising the neighbourhood!) and has been fine about me taking the teenage kids on the back

Very occasionally I have thought it would be nice to go somewhere with her on the bike but see absolutely no reason why she should if doesn't want to... It seems to me live and let live is the basis of every half decent relationship...

my gf can't wait to have a ride, shes never been on a bike. just hope she enjoys it like I do.

Take it easy & slow, giving even more room than you usually do, and I'm sure she will.

V-twins have a certain rasp to them too ;)

it wont be for a while, not had the bike a week so gonna take me a while to get used to it alone.

My other half wasn't keen on going on mine but agreed to it, I took it very steady, not much overtaking and only when lots of space, kept to the speed limits etc and rode as smoothly as I could. Stopped after half an hour and she wasn't too keen but we had to get home. By the time we got back she admitted she had been miles away thinking about cooking on the way back, realised once she relaxed it was enjoyable. She will only come on fairly short rides, doesn't like motorways but generally enjoys it now!

I also have a mate who had an off with his bird on the back, she broke her arm and won't go near it again which is understandable.

My advice would be don't force her into it, if she agrees keep it to a short ride at first, keep it steady on quiet roads with a nice view for her. If she still isn't keen rejoice in the fact you can ride alone all the time!! :lol:

It is dangerous, she is not being irrational, she is being sensible!! :roll:

I refuse to go pillion with others and I've been riding the things for over 20 years myself!! ;) I am also not keen on taking others as I don't like the responsibility ...

I think it would be very wrong of you to push the matter any further ... if you truly care for her, then why take her against her will and put her in potential danger?? If she changes her mind and fancies a go one day I am sure she would let you know ...

Alternatively - dump her and get a new model with longer legs!!! :D

Might I advise against this. I did this and the knees on mine now stick out a lot when she is on the back. I end up having to leave a foot extra on either side when filtering/overtaking. :)

Um, just a thought, is the title to this thread a euphamism? :twisted: :twisted:

lol, maybe his girlfriend and his pillion are two different people..