Agony Aunt
 

Apologies to those who hate non bike related threads but the mighty org can come up with some good answers.

Had bit of a shock this week, my Aunty hit rock bottom on Sunday night and said her goodbyes to everyone. Thankfully, unsucceful in taking her own life, she came to stay with me for a few days to get some space.
She has been drinking heavily for quite some time, thinks she may have a problem but she can handle it and control it.
Clearly she can't as she smelt of alcohol when I collected her from the train station (though she said it had been two days since she drank) and got drunk the first night and ony had a few the second, she said she wont drink today but its her anniversary on Saturday so will prob have a drink then. Any excuse if you ask me.

She is obviously very depressed and is trying to dust herself off and start again. I have helped where I can but this is the first time I have come accross a family memeber with a drink problem and not too sure how to handle it. Any advise guys n gals??


What a week!

Re: Agony Aunt
 

I guess the problem goes back to whether she is using the alcohol as a temporary measure to mask grief or whether she is now physically / psychologically dependant on it. If it's the former, then all will probably be ok in time, if it's the latter, then there's a longer ranging worry.

Which do you think it is?

Re: Agony Aunt
 

She needs proper help and unless you'r experienced in this kind of thing, you are'nt going to be able to help her.

IMHO best thing she can do is go to the Dr's and get some proper advice / couselling or Alocholics Annoymous to try and tackle the drinking.

Trouble is if she wont admit she has a problem no matter what you do she wont change. First step is admiting you need help and thats the hardest.

One of the hardest things I ever did was tell one my best friends that I couldnt help her anymore and she needed help that I couldnt provide and that she should go the Dr's and seek professional help for the issues she had.

She said it was a slap in the face and it really hurt her feelings, but 2 years later she said it was what she needed and shes glad I did it.

Re: Agony Aunt
 

If shes so dependant on alcohol to mask her deep depression, a docs advice would be better than trying to tackle it yourself, it'll only bring you down too.
If shes already attempted taking her own life, she may be needing a stint in hospital.
I have a little knowledge on this sort of thing as my mother and brother work in mental health.
A good friends mum went through something similar, when her marriage broke doen, and ended up being sectioned( its not as bad as it seems) she came out the other sidde eventually. May not have appreciated it at the time, but is back on sturdier ground.

Watching a loved one suffer and use alcohol as a release brings you down, its awful going through it, makes you ill too, its all I'll say without saying too much

Re: Agony Aunt
 

Your aunt clearly has pshycological problems and needs the help of a professional.

Re: Agony Aunt
 

She is acting like she has bounced back from it all and she will just get on with life. However, I know that in a while, she will be back where she was Sunday.
I suggested the dr, help lines etc but she is adament that she can cope. She knows she drinks alot but she will control it herself.
She started to talk to me about something but stopped. She said she has never told anyone and has been carrrying around for years.
Clearly I am not the right person for her to talk to as I am family and it may well invole our family, I suggested samaritans, just to get it off her chest but she doesn't want help.

Re: Agony Aunt
 

The Samaritans will listen but not offer advice - she is probably better off with the Dr, even tho she reckons she can handle it the Dr may be able to offer support of some kind

Re: Agony Aunt
 

My aunty likes her Doctor and wnt to see and got some time off work. The dr suggested someone she should talk to, my aunties response is that, where she lives, everyone knows everyone and she knows the person (although not well) that the Dr suggested.

I explained there would be other people available for her to see and she should return to her GP to find someone.
"no, its a small place, everyone knows everyones business" is all she said.

Not a lot I can do is there

Re: Agony Aunt
 

Steer her in the direction of the GP with a view to counselling. And be prepared to listen - to the same thisng time and time again - it's very tiring as in my experience people focus on the one issue and go on and on about it.

Re: Agony Aunt
 

She did repeat herself many times and kept apologising. It's hard to know what to say.

im training to be a counsellor so all experience I guess, how ever she's family. Not easy to detach yourself, if you know what I mean.