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-   -   How do you get them to move out from home? (http://forums.sv650.org/showthread.php?t=128214)

timwilky 23-03-09 06:15 PM

How do you get them to move out from home?
 
Another thread is advising the OP to stay at home with his parents. Boot on the other foot. How the heck do you get them to sod off?


I have managed to get rid of two, but the 3rd is 25yrs old and won't go. Says she cannot afford. I funded her degrees and accommodation and then she came back home. But enough is enough I am made to feel like I live in her house, I cannot leave anything out, She shifts everything. Decides what is on TV, decor schemes etc. She moved out of her room into the guest room as it was bigger etc.

We need our independence, time for her mum and I to enjoy our life. I tell her to go, she says no. Do I pack her bags and change the locks?

speedplay 23-03-09 06:18 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
pay for her to go on holiday and then move while shes away.

kwak zzr 23-03-09 06:21 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
make life really difficult :)

Rich 23-03-09 06:23 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
Tell her she has to start paying her share of the extra council tax, utility bills and food bills she puts upon you, If she don't pay up send the heavy's in to get her!!! I have to pay my way at home and it would work out near the same for me to rent somewhere but i'm saving slowly for a deposit on a house, will take time but i don't expect my mum to subsidise me in the process. You need to sit her down have a serious chat with her and tell her how you both feel, don't let her control your life it's your home, shes outgrown it tell her to begger off!!!

timwilky 23-03-09 06:25 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
Pay, now there's an idea.


Mum, lets start charging her board and lodging

Thingus 23-03-09 06:28 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
Jeez yeh just charge her. It ain't harsh to ask for rent, she can expect to pay a decent sum just for the room, if she takes food from you and doens't do washing etc then heck even better.

Nothing malicious involved in that it's just the way it goes :p

kwak zzr 23-03-09 06:30 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
hey tim it sounds a good old life at your house can i move in please :) i'll throw you £20 board a week :)

Geoffrey 23-03-09 06:30 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
i paid half of my sons mortgage deposit to get him out

timwilky 23-03-09 06:31 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by kwak zzr (Post 1833169)
hey tim it sounds a good old life at your house can i move in please :) i'll throw you £20 board a week :)

only if you polish my bike

gruntygiggles 23-03-09 06:32 PM

Re: How do you get them to move out from home?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by timwilky (Post 1833146)
Another thread is advising the OP to stay at home with his parents. Boot on the other foot. How the heck do you get them to sod off?


I have managed to get rid of two, but the 3rd is 25yrs old and won't go. Says she cannot afford. I funded her degrees and accommodation and then she came back home. But enough is enough I am made to feel like I live in her house, I cannot leave anything out, She shifts everything. Decides what is on TV, decor schemes etc. She moved out of her room into the guest room as it was bigger etc.

We need our independence, time for her mum and I to enjoy our life. I tell her to go, she says no. Do I pack her bags and change the locks?

No tricks are going to work here. I reckon your best bet is to sit her down and tell her that the only reason she can't afford to move out is because she is not prioritising her money. Ask her if you can help her with that over the next three months and get her in a position where she can rent a room and still have a little spare to treat herself.

If she just says no and that she's staying at home, tell her she's being selfish. Say that you and her mum have devoted the last 25 years to her and your other two and it's time you got to live your own life again.

I think you're going to have be firm on this one as she's obviously not taking any notice at the moment. Tell her how much you have had to work to pay the mortgage, keep the house together, the sacrifices that you and your wife have made as parents and that you now want to be able to have the house you worked so hard for to yourselves again.

I really do think you need to just tell her and give her a timeline. Has to be out in say, 6 months......that way you give her time to sort out her finances, but put a date on it.

Good luck, my mums best friend had to pay the deposit for her 34 year old son to move out and when he came over (everyday) for whatever silly reason, she would open the door and wait for him to tell het what he wanted, then tell him he needed to grow up and sort it out himself.

Her best line was, "I'm 74, you need to grow up quickly or you'll be living here and wiping my backside in a few years"


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