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Citroen Berlingo on eBay

Not my listing nor anybody I know but it really made me laugh:
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...m=320589999042

Quote:

Originally Posted by eBay listing

.......Performance
"Exhilarating", "starting" and "exciting" are 3 words I would NEVER use to describe the performance of this vehicle. To make this incredible testimony to "white knuckle rides", the manufacturers lovingly installed the best performance diesel engine honed from the finest piece of concrete and recycled toilet tissue available, and then took the turbo away! To be honest, tectonic plates do move quicker but hey, speed isn't everything is it?

Think back to when your stuck in a queue of traffic behind a farm tractor; well this van is that tractors get stuck behind! Outstanding!

........Stopping Power
Why would you want to waste money on ridiculous gimmicks like ABS when you can use the ones on the vehicle in front of you! Besides, ABS is for wooses; and besides you'll never end up going fast enough to warrant using them anyway (see above). Sit back, relax and watch the world panic around you as you fill there ears with graceful tyre squeal and nostrils with the smell of burning rubber!