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Specialone 01-10-11 09:50 AM

Obituary
 
An Obituary printed in the London Times....


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim


maviczap 01-10-11 10:19 AM

Re: Obituary
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by specialone (Post 2610207)
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

All illigitimate by different fathers.

Plus the cousin 'I'm entitled to that'

davepreston 01-10-11 11:33 AM

Re: Obituary
 
unfortunatly this is an old obituary
it happened years ago

ogden 01-10-11 07:09 PM

Re: Obituary
 
"The London Times" ?

I'm guessing this is a copy/paste job from somewhere full of yanks.

Specialone 01-10-11 07:16 PM

Re: Obituary
 
Dunno, I copied and pasted from the email that was sent to me.

andrewsmith 01-10-11 07:34 PM

Re: Obituary
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by davepreston (Post 2610229)
unfortunatly this is an old obituary
it happened years ago

About 1993? if not a lot earlier

beabert 01-10-11 08:40 PM

Re: Obituary
 
82c is a bloody hot coffee though lol.

andrewsmith 01-10-11 08:54 PM

Re: Obituary
 
True but that was in the states where its legal to sue yourself

orose 01-10-11 09:14 PM

Re: Obituary
 
And third degree burns are pretty severe by any measure - reading into the detail, I'd say the coffee case had merit (it was apparently served 15C hotter than other outlets).

Bluefish 01-10-11 09:16 PM

Re: Obituary
 
what, does their water boil at a lower temp :rolleyes:


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