I eat dog food
I have a golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina Mixer Complete food at Tescos ..... standing in the queue to pay .....
A woman behind me asked what sort of dog I had .... On impulse, I told her that no, I didnt actually own a dog - I was starting 'The Purina Diet' again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 4 stone before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to fill your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hozzy in that condition because I'd been poisoned.
I told her no; it was coz I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
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