Oh. My. God. Help !
 

... my boss is reading out chat up lines that he's found on the net.

Whilst some are funny, and some would probably work, he's mid-late 50's, overweight and bald. There's another lad in the office, early 20's and also has issues with his weight, talking about conquests with women.

Please someone, kill me now. I need to get the images out of my head!

Re: OH. MY. GOD. HELP!
 

:laughat:

That's what you get for trying to cheer us up!

What goes around, comes around! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

What are the chat up lines? just curious. ;)

This should help...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x20v9F-sWHQ

:D

I am stuck in the office on my own... I am driving myself mad.... at least their ramblings can make you grateful for who you are...and not as sad as them.

I called to visit my bf's uncle yesterday. I was looking at him thinking he looked a little like bf, and then all of a suddenly, without permission, I wondered if he was as good in the sack...... I sickened myself in one micro-thought.... urgh!
How could that of entered my head, he is foul!!! :)

oh my god, that vid is awful.... i feel real ill now! :)

I can't remamber them all, but there was the usual:
"That's a sexy dress, I reckon it'd look better on my bedroom floor" etc etc

The funny:
"You might as well sleep with me, I'll tell all my mates that anyway."

And the slightly inventive (to me anyway):
"Have you got your phone number, I've lost mine."
"So do you live around here, or are you local?"

But personally, I prefer the simple "Hi, I'm Dave, fancy a drink?" I reckon that's worked in the past because it's not a corny chat up line, so not an instant put off, sometimes you end up handing out free drinks, but it also gets them to talk to you for more than 30secs.

Naturally subsitute your own name! :lol:

Or theres

"Wanna f*ck"

99 times out of 100 you will get a slap in the face.

1 times out of 100 it will work

The beauty of human communication is that you can say the same 2 words 100 times to 100 different people in one night if you are in a big enough pub/nightclub.

Oh and ladies - if YOU use it, then the odds are reversed :)

David (I accept no responsibility for the outcome of using anything in this post)

To counter their blatant lies, tell even more blatant lies. This will either impress them, or make them realise they sound like idiots. At absolute worst, while you're telling your lies they can't be telling theirs. Result!

Back when I was free & single, we used to play a game.

Walking from club to club, doing our usual route, through the meat market. The competition was thus:

You have to be seen by the person behind you grabbing as many ar*es as possible, each grab on the opposite s3x is worth 1 point. Each grab on the same s3x is worth 5.

If YOU get a slap for it, those points are negative, then 'added' to your score. If the person behind you gets a slap, they loose a single point, regardless of s3x.

If you get a kiss/hug, points are doubled.

The winner for that journey gets their next drink free.

If a 'target' tags along and ends up coming home with you due to your grab, your next night out is free curtosey of the other lads.

Man we used to play complicated games.