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31-07-06, 02:54 PM

Sunday
00.00am - Depart Bromley, on the RSV, bound for Northern Ireland (taking the bike to my parents home).

00.59 - Bike cuts out in the fast lane of the M1 on the road works section just off Junction 10 in the pouring rain. HGV in the middle lane realises what's going on - thankfully - and holds the traffic up as I coast to the hard shoulder which because of the roadworks is actually being used as the inside lane.

01.01 - Electrics, starter motor work, but bike simply refuses to start.

01.02 - Give up trying to work on bike as I appear to be invisible to other traffic. Fed up - and to be honest, scared - of being buzzed by HGV's less than an arms length away. Move over fence and call RAC.

01.03 - Argue with RAC telephonist as to where exactly I'm stuck on the M1. She tells me that the marker post number that I have stopped at does not exist!

01.29 - Whilst trying to work on the bike - again - my torch falls off the seat and down into the storm drain below. It looks like my bike has strip lights along the bottom.

01.33 - Repeated attempts to start bike and the fact that my lights and indicators are running mean that the battery is so flat the bike won't even turn over.

01.35 - Marvel at the fact that despite the fact that my bike is partially obstructing the inside lane, other vehicles don't feel it's necessary to deviate from their chosen course.

01.45 - RAC van drives past tooting his horn but does not stop.

02.00 - RAC driver calls me to say that because of the roadworks he can't stop and says that the RAC telephonist should have realised that before dispatching him. He says that he has notified the police and the free roadworks recovery team.

02.45 - Recovery vehicles arrive. Drivers are absolute diamonds. They load the bike onto the recovery vehicle as if it was their own. They tell me that although we're just off junction 10 they have to take me back towards London to their compound at Junction 8.

03.00 - Arrive at compound. Bike offloaded. Still refuses to start. Still raining.

03.15 - RAC driver arrives. He had been waiting for me just at junction 10. He quickly gets to work. He jumps bike off a portable charger. The voltmeter says bike not charging battery and therefore it's just losing power. He thinks that I might be okay if i ran without lights. I point out that it's dark and raining and that I might need my lights. He can't fix it at the roadside so asks what I want to do: go home or be taken to my destination. I tell him I'm on my way to Northern Ireland. He tells me that he can't take me there but he knows a man who can. RAC man makes a few phone calls and then leaves. It's still raining.

03.45 - Another recovery vehicle arrives. He doesn't seem in the least bit fazed that he has to take me to the ferry port at Stranraer in Scotland. I think that's because he doesn't know where it is!

07.00 - Driver now quite depressed having realised just how far away the port is. He pops three pro-plus tabs and washes it down with some Redbull.

08.02 - Phone ferry company to advise them that I may not make my ferry in time. Customer services rep tells me that I can push my bike onto the ferry.

09.50 - My ferry departs. Without me. I phone to re-arrange departure time. Next ferry not until 14.50. Ferry full but I get the last bike space going.

10.45 - Eventually arrive at ferry port. Bike still won't start. Not even with jump leads off the recovery lorry. Settle down for long wait.

12.32 - Check-in opens. I push bike along queue. Officious chap in an overly large suit tells me that I'm not allowed to push bike onto ferry. He doesn't care what I've been told on the phone. Tell him I want to speak to his manager.

12.35 - Speak to manager. Explain events thus far and tell him that if I can't go on the ferry I will have to be recovered back to London, but I will be billing the ferry company for the cost. Manager tells me that I can push the bike onto the ferry.

14.00 - Push fully laden RSV up the loading ramp in 20 degree heat. Takes me ages. Sweating buckets. Feel like a complete tit. Loading staff very helpfully yell encouragement.

14.50 - Ferry departs Scotland.

16.50 - Ferry arrives Belfast. It's raining. Push bike off the ferry and along the queue of traffic to get out. Feel like a complete tit. Again.

17.00 - I'm met by my dad and eventually we get the bike started using jump leads. I'm scared it will die on me so keep the throttle wound on. Bike's revving like mad. People are staring at me like I'm a complete tit.

18.00 - Eventually get to my parent's home - 7 hours later than intended. Problem with bike seems to have disappeared. It now starts without any problem.

19.00 - Have a shower and quick bite to eat. Bike still starts without a problem. Try to persuade myself that recovery to Scotland saved me a heap on petrol, tyre wear and I managed to get a kip and keep dry and warm.

20.00 - Dad takes me to airport to catch my flight home.

20.30 - Magnets in tank bag sets off the security machine in the airport. I have to use all my negotiating and threats skills to persuade them not to cut it apart. Have a nice 'chat' with Special Branch about the ingenuity of terrorists.

21.25 - Flight boarding sign lights up.

21.35 - Flight delayed sign lights up.

22.05 - Flight boards. Naturally, I'm in the last group to be called. Plane full. End up sitting beside a family with a screaming infant. Typical.

23.45 - Flight arrives at Gatwick. 45 minutes late.

Monday
00.00 - Taxi waiting for me. Gets me home in super quick time.

00.45 - Bed. Alone.

That was my Sunday. But it was a small price to pay for the privilege of owning a bike!

31-07-06, 02:54 PM	#1
svsk2 Guest Posts: n/a	My Sunday (long, very very long) Sunday 00.00am - Depart Bromley, on the RSV, bound for Northern Ireland (taking the bike to my parents home). 00.59 - Bike cuts out in the fast lane of the M1 on the road works section just off Junction 10 in the pouring rain. HGV in the middle lane realises what's going on - thankfully - and holds the traffic up as I coast to the hard shoulder which because of the roadworks is actually being used as the inside lane. 01.01 - Electrics, starter motor work, but bike simply refuses to start. 01.02 - Give up trying to work on bike as I appear to be invisible to other traffic. Fed up - and to be honest, scared - of being buzzed by HGV's less than an arms length away. Move over fence and call RAC. 01.03 - Argue with RAC telephonist as to where exactly I'm stuck on the M1. She tells me that the marker post number that I have stopped at does not exist! 01.29 - Whilst trying to work on the bike - again - my torch falls off the seat and down into the storm drain below. It looks like my bike has strip lights along the bottom. 01.33 - Repeated attempts to start bike and the fact that my lights and indicators are running mean that the battery is so flat the bike won't even turn over. 01.35 - Marvel at the fact that despite the fact that my bike is partially obstructing the inside lane, other vehicles don't feel it's necessary to deviate from their chosen course. 01.45 - RAC van drives past tooting his horn but does not stop. 02.00 - RAC driver calls me to say that because of the roadworks he can't stop and says that the RAC telephonist should have realised that before dispatching him. He says that he has notified the police and the free roadworks recovery team. 02.45 - Recovery vehicles arrive. Drivers are absolute diamonds. They load the bike onto the recovery vehicle as if it was their own. They tell me that although we're just off junction 10 they have to take me back towards London to their compound at Junction 8. 03.00 - Arrive at compound. Bike offloaded. Still refuses to start. Still raining. 03.15 - RAC driver arrives. He had been waiting for me just at junction 10. He quickly gets to work. He jumps bike off a portable charger. The voltmeter says bike not charging battery and therefore it's just losing power. He thinks that I might be okay if i ran without lights. I point out that it's dark and raining and that I might need my lights. He can't fix it at the roadside so asks what I want to do: go home or be taken to my destination. I tell him I'm on my way to Northern Ireland. He tells me that he can't take me there but he knows a man who can. RAC man makes a few phone calls and then leaves. It's still raining. 03.45 - Another recovery vehicle arrives. He doesn't seem in the least bit fazed that he has to take me to the ferry port at Stranraer in Scotland. I think that's because he doesn't know where it is! 07.00 - Driver now quite depressed having realised just how far away the port is. He pops three pro-plus tabs and washes it down with some Redbull. 08.02 - Phone ferry company to advise them that I may not make my ferry in time. Customer services rep tells me that I can push my bike onto the ferry. 09.50 - My ferry departs. Without me. I phone to re-arrange departure time. Next ferry not until 14.50. Ferry full but I get the last bike space going. 10.45 - Eventually arrive at ferry port. Bike still won't start. Not even with jump leads off the recovery lorry. Settle down for long wait. 12.32 - Check-in opens. I push bike along queue. Officious chap in an overly large suit tells me that I'm not allowed to push bike onto ferry. He doesn't care what I've been told on the phone. Tell him I want to speak to his manager. 12.35 - Speak to manager. Explain events thus far and tell him that if I can't go on the ferry I will have to be recovered back to London, but I will be billing the ferry company for the cost. Manager tells me that I can push the bike onto the ferry. 14.00 - Push fully laden RSV up the loading ramp in 20 degree heat. Takes me ages. Sweating buckets. Feel like a complete tit. Loading staff very helpfully yell encouragement. 14.50 - Ferry departs Scotland. 16.50 - Ferry arrives Belfast. It's raining. Push bike off the ferry and along the queue of traffic to get out. Feel like a complete tit. Again. 17.00 - I'm met by my dad and eventually we get the bike started using jump leads. I'm scared it will die on me so keep the throttle wound on. Bike's revving like mad. People are staring at me like I'm a complete tit. 18.00 - Eventually get to my parent's home - 7 hours later than intended. Problem with bike seems to have disappeared. It now starts without any problem. 19.00 - Have a shower and quick bite to eat. Bike still starts without a problem. Try to persuade myself that recovery to Scotland saved me a heap on petrol, tyre wear and I managed to get a kip and keep dry and warm. 20.00 - Dad takes me to airport to catch my flight home. 20.30 - Magnets in tank bag sets off the security machine in the airport. I have to use all my negotiating and threats skills to persuade them not to cut it apart. Have a nice 'chat' with Special Branch about the ingenuity of terrorists. 21.25 - Flight boarding sign lights up. 21.35 - Flight delayed sign lights up. 22.05 - Flight boards. Naturally, I'm in the last group to be called. Plane full. End up sitting beside a family with a screaming infant. Typical. 23.45 - Flight arrives at Gatwick. 45 minutes late. Monday 00.00 - Taxi waiting for me. Gets me home in super quick time. 00.45 - Bed. Alone. That was my Sunday. But it was a small price to pay for the privilege of owning a bike!