Bloody Vasco da Gama!. Con merchant
What he had in mind was to use old Manuel's cash, and clear off to his holiday home in Mozambique* If he hadnt upset a handful of locals he'd have stayed there and that would have been that. Bing, bish, bosh. Manuel's cash all spent on apricots and unbusty wenches** But due to the upset over an unpaid bill he was forced to leave, sailed off right indstead of left. Despite the shouts of his men 'This seems an awful long way...' he took no heed, arrived in Goa. BIG MISTAKE. Wandered about a bit, realised it didnt look much like Lisbon (BEARING IN MIND he had been away a few years, things change). Realised where he was and declared he had reached China. He wa later politely informed it was only India.
No India's so big even a fool could find it.
*dont EVEN get me started on Mozambique...
**a well known fact. FACT.