Lozzo

Shopping in Sainsburys with my church-going ex and our 3 kids. Mum sends the two girls, aged 6 and 8, off in front to find shampoo. We saw the elder one dive into the shelves and pull out a green bottle, waving it frantically in the air, just as three of Jane's elderly church-going friends appeared around the corner behind the two girls. Daughter shouts at the top of her voice "Mummy, do you want Orgasmics or the other one?"

Jane could have died, but it was diffused a bit by one of the god-bothering grannies saying "My George calls it that too, but not usually as loud".

We called it "Just Shampoo" from that day on