Lozzo

Filling in my divorce forms was one of the highlights of my life. I was so unbothered by the whole process that when my decree came through the letter was handed to me while I was fixing a bike. I read it and threw it in a toolchest drawer, where it lay for 6 years until I was having a clearout - it's now framed and sits behind a cupboard.

I filed for the divorce, but I made her pay for it all.