Ceri JC

At a teenage party me and some friends "fixed" a red wine stain in the middle of some comparatively light carpet. By "fixed" I mean it was good enough that his parents never noticed it, although we could all see where it had been.

How to in ten easy steps:
1. Get so drunk you don't care if you spill red wine.
2. Spill red wine.
3. Don't bother to clean it up (you too drunk to care, remember?)
4. The next morning, see the carpet and realise how bad it is.
5. Realise the carper is quite thick.
6. Take a metal scouring pad and scrub away at the stain, repeat for 10 minutes until you've taken off the top layer of the carpet.
7. Realise this area of the carpet is now considerably lighter than the rest and stands out.
8.Scour concentric circles of decreasing pressure outwards to create a smooth gradient between the light spot and the rest of the carpet.
9. Carpet now has a large spot where the stain was, that is not noticeable to people who don't know it's there.
10. Get thrown out of your house for 2 weeks by your parents anyway because you also broke/ruined numerous other things in the house during the party.