Originally Posted by gruntygiggles

If you want to write down how you feel, that is your prerogative, but I have only found that to leave people asking why you couldn't just talk to them.

It's been years since I stood up to my parents, but when I did, I didn't make a big drama about it. I could write an essay on how I did it with both my mum and my dad, but that would be pointless as all parent/child relationships are different.

You have to look at yourself for answers to why your parents still treat you like a child. If you allow them to still have a hold over you or a bearing on your decisions in life, you will be reinforcing that they still need to do that.

The moment you can show them that you will do what you want to do for yourself, regardless of their opinions, they will see you as more of an adult.

I would always say to try and be diplomatic and not just disregard their feelings, but just let them know that you understand their concerns, but you want to do this (whatever it is) and so you will. DO NOT be drawn into an argument or lenghthy conversation about it and if they try, just say, "sorry guys, but I've made the decision so there's nothing you can say that will change that, so, shall I stick the kettle on?"
You be the calm one, you be the reasonable one and you be the adult. Then, whatever it is you wanted to do, go ahead and do it, enjoy it and tell them how happy it makes you.

I don't think you can beat the relationship you have with your parents after you go through this kind of battle to be seen as an adult. My mum and I were never that close growing up because I tended to get restrictions put on me so that I didn't make the same mistakes as my sister, but now we are closer than ever.

Sure, she still doesn't like things and has no problem telling me, but that's juts her being a mum that loves me.

Me and Stretchie are doing skydives later this year for charity and both our mums wanted to stop us, but they know they can't and last time I spoke to mum about it, she said, "well, if you're doing it, you have to do it well, so get me some sponsorship forms and I'll raise as much as I can for you"!

I don't tell them everything that's going on in my life, they don;t tell me everything that's going on in theirs. As for riding pillion with Stretchie, my mum knows I do it, but I don't ever talk to her about it or go there on the bike because we have a kind of understanding that she'd rather not know. That's fine with me. I'm not lying and she's not sat at home waiting for a phone call.

Just use your best judgement Kate and handle it the way you think is best for you and your parents, but you really should stand your ground with them at some point as it will be good for all of you.

Don't worry about disappointing them. If they have a problem with anything you do...that is their problem, not yours. You are 24, you should absolutely be able to live your life without worrying about what they think of you and the sooner you address that, the sooner you'll see that all they really want is for you to be happy.

Just go easy on them, you're their little girl and they'll always worry about you and want what's best for you. You just need to let them know that sometimes what they want and what you want are different, that's all there is to it.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.