sookie

Don't wanna bring people down but I found out I've been a bit of a blind monkey over the last few years and I feel useless. All the "what ifs" that usually run through my mind approaching a corner have just paled into insignificance recenty. A bit of "so bloody what" and that, you know what I mean? The toe scraping and knee sliding have been a more attractive feature and when I get home to the kids I think I've been a plonker again cos I might not be so lucky next time. Trying to keep the fact the kids need at least one parent in their lives at the forefrontof my mind is a wee bitty difficult when I love scaring myself so much.Again I'm sorry to all but ahm f***ed. Its the third time around for mae and the kids and I don't know how mush more I can take...sorry. I maybe need to phone the samaritans or summat.