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Originally Posted by Scoobs
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Originally Posted by Peter Henry
Scoobs..well meaning as your words are......
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I've never been in the same situation as you, but I have friends who have children who aren't married. No-one thinks any less of them. In this day and age it doesn't really matter (IMO). I guess that ain't the point though is it? Or is it? What's really bugging you about it?
I think you are lucky to have both parents. As long as I can remember I have been part of a single parent family. Even when my M & D were still married. I haven't seen my dad for about 17 years. |
Being a child of unmarried parents may not have the stigma it did - but that doesn't take away the fact that there once was alot of negative feeling towards this sort on thing once.
Peter, it could be that your parents started out by simply protecting you from such ignorant thinking; giving the outward world and yourself the comforting image of a 'proper' family.
I can only guess, but a deceipt like that - the longer it goes on the harder it may be to come clean so to speak. Perhaps that is why they didn't then tell you in your late teens perhaps, or early twenties.
You have my sympathies. It is harsh to feel betrayed by those you should have the strongest bonds of trust and honesty with. This is going to feel raw for some time to come - but going over an re-analysing everything they ever did and said is only going to prolong the bad feelings. Would it really serve a purpose too?
Scoobs, is having two parents who have decieved you better than having one who was honest? Personally I don't think so. Perhaps even having none at all can be the making of a person.
But then this is one of those deeply sensitive and individual issues that I feel should never be compared in this way.
Peter, talk with them, when you feel you can. Try to be accepting of their reasons - life's too short.