Idle Banter For non SV and non bike related chat (and the odd bit of humour - but if any post isn't suitable it'll get deleted real quick).![]() |
![]() |
|
Thread Tools |
![]() |
#1 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
![]()
>
> TRUE STORY - > > Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" > offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: > > The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a > new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person > will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. > As > homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short > story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another > copy > to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another > paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to > me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on > back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in > order to keep the story coherent. > > There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and > anything > you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when > both agree a conclusion has been reached." > > > The following was actually turned in by two of his English > students:Rebecca and Gary. > > THE STORY: > > (first paragraph by Rebecca) > > At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The > chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, > now > reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that > he > liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her > mind > off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about > him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out > of > the question. > > (second paragraph by Gary) > > Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron > now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about > than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with > whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ! ago. "A. S. Harris to > Geostation 17," > he > said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No > sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish > particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his > ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of > his seat and across the cockpit. > > (Rebecca) > > He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt > one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who > had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its > pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. > "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," > Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously > excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her > youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no > newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of > innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her."Why must one > lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. > > (Gary) > > Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. > Thousands > of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first > of > its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed > the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had > left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were > determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the > passage > of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying > enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop > them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion > missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his > top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the > coast of Guam, felt the inconceivab! ly massi ve explosion, which > vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. > > (Rebecca) > > This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My > writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent. > > (Gary) > > Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic > whose > attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall > I > have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? > Oh > no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many > Danielle Steele novels!" > > (Rebecca) > > Jackass. > > (Gary) > > Bitch > > (Rebecca) > > F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL! > > (Gary) > > Go drink some tea - *****. > > (TEACHER) > > A+ - I really liked this one. |
![]() |
![]() |
#2 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#3 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
![]()
Excellent :P :P
|
![]() |
![]() |
#4 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#5 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
![]()
wow.. very funny...
|
![]() |
![]() |
#6 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
![]()
Superb.
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | |
|
|
![]() |
||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
First pics of water on mars - AMAZING | G | Idle Banter | 12 | 27-06-08 07:09 PM |
Life on Mars | Kinvig | Idle Banter | 2 | 20-06-07 10:28 AM |
Lost on Mars? This might help | Spiderman | Idle Banter | 0 | 09-04-06 11:34 AM |
Men are from mars etc... | Iansv | Idle Banter | 6 | 13-03-06 05:05 PM |