How do you do it - SV650.org

timwilky · 09-07-09, 12:01 AM

I have just spent the evening with a mate who's life ran parallel with mine for what I thought was the worst part of my life.

His brother in law developed cancer the same time as mine, they died within a week of each other, our wive's in the meantime got their own diagnosis. Both had surgery, were with each other in chemotherapy and radiotherapy and both told they were over it.

Very quickly it became clear the Steve's wife wasn't. Even though she had the was supposed to have the least aggressive cancer. Tonight I was told she has a week maybe two.

Steve has now gone home to somehow tell his kids. I only need to tell the wife.

He had expected todays meeting would have said 2 years, not 2 weeks at best. Poor girl is only 45. I am breaking up at the prospect of how the hell do I tell my wife who has only ever seen bad in a cancer diagnosis and trying to live with her own that yet another is terminal.

Yet I think for my friend Steve. how the hell do you go home and tell 3 kids 17, 16 and 12 that mum is going to die. when for the past year everyone has been telling them that mum will get better.

****e I am welling up, sorry for dumping my issues on the org. I need to talk to somebody, but I am on my jacks

Spiderman · 09-07-09, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by timwilky

****e I am welling up, sorry for dumping my issues on the org. I need to talk to somebody, but I am on my jacks

Mate we're family here, you know that.

As for the other stuff....fek me thats heavy. I cant even begin to put myself in Steves shoes, thats a situation i guess all of us never wish to have to be put in. And you situation is obviously difficult too.

All i can say is we are here for you mate.

Jayneflakes · 09-07-09, 12:21 AM

My words seem feeble when I read of such grief and loss.

My thoughts are with you, your wife and your dear friends. Do not feel bad for sharing your feelings with us. I hope that in some small way we can offer a little comfort.

Take care,
Jayne

09-07-09, 05:44 AM

bloody hell mate, hope you all get through this ok.

09-07-09, 06:14 AM

That's just bloody tragic, whatever way you paint it. I'm sorry.

Bri w · 09-07-09, 06:56 AM

I can't think of anything that would make the next few days/weeks any easier. No silly quips or spin. You've got to be strong for your wife, and your mate. But bring your pain to the .org, and we'll do the best we can even if it means crossing the big hill into Lancs for a beer/coffee.

Our best wishes to you and yours.

09-07-09, 07:34 AM

Oh mate, youve got me in tears. There is nothing that we can say to make it any easier, but you will be amazed what inner strength can be found in times such as these. My thoughts are with you and your family and your friend and his family, those poor children, i cant begin to imagine what the next few weeks will be like for them. Just know that we are all here for you, and send our best wishes to you all at this terrible time. Im so so sorry.

09-07-09, 07:44 AM

i facking hate cancer! has to be the most horrible thing in the world. ****ing evil nasty useless disease

tim, what can you do, what can you say? pretty much nothing to be honest, i dont know of anybody who hasnt been affected by this disease in some way shape or form. it's relentless and doesnt discriminate, it'll take anybody. the speed your friend has been hit is shocking, if there are any crumbs maybe the suffering wont be prolonged. i dunno, thats no comfort at all in a situation like this. i lost a friend suddenly a couple of years ago, and it still hurts like hell to talk about her, she left a 3 and a 5 year old behind, they're at an age where their memories of their mum will dull over the years and that get me. your friends kids will have great memories, im sure. i know this isnt about the future, its about now. i'm rambling, hell i may not even post this.

maybe what im trying to say is, i can't say anything that will help. speak to people, let out your anger on here - normally not a problem! - let out your sadness on here, with your friend, with your wife, be there for her husband and kids, it's all sounding clichéd but time will help.

sometimes life (in death) sucks. take care

keith

09-07-09, 07:46 AM

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09-07-09, 07:49 AM

There;s nothing to be said that makes it any easier - My dad didn't tell me all the facts about my mums cancer and tried to break it to gently that she was dying but i didn't see. It's the diagnosis everyone doesn't want to get but you will find the strength to be strong for everyone including showing your wife familys and friend that there is another result for cancer others wise as everyone say - come to us will help you at every turn possible
say whatever whenever the org will be there for you

09-07-09, 12:01 AM	#1
timwilky Member Mega Poster Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Not in Yorkshire. (Thank God) Posts: 4,116	How do you do it I have just spent the evening with a mate who's life ran parallel with mine for what I thought was the worst part of my life. His brother in law developed cancer the same time as mine, they died within a week of each other, our wive's in the meantime got their own diagnosis. Both had surgery, were with each other in chemotherapy and radiotherapy and both told they were over it. Very quickly it became clear the Steve's wife wasn't. Even though she had the was supposed to have the least aggressive cancer. Tonight I was told she has a week maybe two. Steve has now gone home to somehow tell his kids. I only need to tell the wife. He had expected todays meeting would have said 2 years, not 2 weeks at best. Poor girl is only 45. I am breaking up at the prospect of how the hell do I tell my wife who has only ever seen bad in a cancer diagnosis and trying to live with her own that yet another is terminal. Yet I think for my friend Steve. how the hell do you go home and tell 3 kids 17, 16 and 12 that mum is going to die. when for the past year everyone has been telling them that mum will get better. ****e I am welling up, sorry for dumping my issues on the org. I need to talk to somebody, but I am on my jacks __________________ Not Grumpy, opinionated.

09-07-09, 05:44 AM	#4
Bluefish Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How do you do it bloody hell mate, hope you all get through this ok.

09-07-09, 06:14 AM	#5
shonadoll Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How do you do it That's just bloody tragic, whatever way you paint it. I'm sorry.

09-07-09, 06:56 AM	#6
Bri w Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Turre, Almeria Posts: 668	Re: How do you do it I can't think of anything that would make the next few days/weeks any easier. No silly quips or spin. You've got to be strong for your wife, and your mate. But bring your pain to the .org, and we'll do the best we can even if it means crossing the big hill into Lancs for a beer/coffee. Our best wishes to you and yours. __________________ *"It's not the years in your life, it's the life in your years."* Currently - Fighting the urge... seen a nice Triumph America Previously - Honda CB125, Honda CB400-4 & BSA B40, Moto Guzzi 850, Yamaha RD250, Suzuki GT380, Kawasaki Z1B, Kawasaki Z650, Honda VFR, Triumph Street Triple R.

09-07-09, 07:34 AM	#7
kellyjo Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How do you do it Oh mate, youve got me in tears. There is nothing that we can say to make it any easier, but you will be amazed what inner strength can be found in times such as these. My thoughts are with you and your family and your friend and his family, those poor children, i cant begin to imagine what the next few weeks will be like for them. Just know that we are all here for you, and send our best wishes to you all at this terrible time. Im so so sorry.

09-07-09, 07:44 AM	#8
keithd Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How do you do it i facking hate cancer! has to be the most horrible thing in the world. ****ing evil nasty useless disease tim, what can you do, what can you say? pretty much nothing to be honest, i dont know of anybody who hasnt been affected by this disease in some way shape or form. it's relentless and doesnt discriminate, it'll take anybody. the speed your friend has been hit is shocking, if there are any crumbs maybe the suffering wont be prolonged. i dunno, thats no comfort at all in a situation like this. i lost a friend suddenly a couple of years ago, and it still hurts like hell to talk about her, she left a 3 and a 5 year old behind, they're at an age where their memories of their mum will dull over the years and that get me. your friends kids will have great memories, im sure. i know this isnt about the future, its about now. i'm rambling, hell i may not even post this. maybe what im trying to say is, i can't say anything that will help. speak to people, let out your anger on here - normally not a problem! - let out your sadness on here, with your friend, with your wife, be there for her husband and kids, it's all sounding clichéd but time will help. sometimes life (in death) sucks. take care keith

09-07-09, 07:46 AM	#9
Bluewolf Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How do you do it . Last edited by Bluewolf; 06-04-11 at 12:42 PM.

09-07-09, 07:49 AM	#10
Quedos Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How do you do it There;s nothing to be said that makes it any easier - My dad didn't tell me all the facts about my mums cancer and tried to break it to gently that she was dying but i didn't see. It's the diagnosis everyone doesn't want to get but you will find the strength to be strong for everyone including showing your wife familys and friend that there is another result for cancer others wise as everyone say - come to us will help you at every turn possible say whatever whenever the org will be there for you