Knee Slider grinding service

Are you one of those people who has unused Sliders? Do you feel sexually inadequate because of this? Do you lie awake at night wondering if you'll ever be able to look your mates in the eye? Not having much luck with the opposite sex?

Well help is at hand with this new and efficient service. Simply send us your pristine knee sliders and we'll wear them in for you so you too look like a cornering demon.

There are three levels of service:

1) Lightly toasted. Just a few scratches, to show you could get you knee down if you want but you're sexually confident enough not to do it all the time. Suitable for those happily married or in a comfortable long term relationship.

2) Middle of the road. We'll wear them down for you so you look like its easy to grind whenever you fancy. *Care must be taken as you WILL be more attractive to the opposite sex. Those in a long term relationship should carefully consider choosing option 1) if they value their relationship!

3) Absolutely Buggerified! Yes, we'll use them down to the backing for you. You will of course have to stop regularly on rideouts to "service" all of the screaming fans! Please be aware that it's almost nettle season and jumping naked over hedges can lead to health and safety issues.

To take advantage of this offer simply post your knee sliders to us with an SAE and the poultry sum of £5 and we'll return your sliders to you at the level of wear you requested.

Please note: All returns are in plain brown packaging and anonymity and complete discression is guaranteed!

We can also do special requests such as multi directional scratches and even crash damage on request.

Thanks,
The Minitwiners

lmao i could see this actually taking off in America

[G]

Originally Posted by GixxerMatt

lmao i could see this actually taking off in America

knee sliders for shorts and sandles?

[Bluepete]

Ooh ooh!

I'll take a number three please!

I have plenty of anti-histamines to deal withnthe nettle rash.

Cash on delivery?

Pete

some ape raped my sliders at leeming, after using and discarding his own by mid session, the inhumanity

and if i send you a fresh set as tony has already used his crash quota for the year who would be servicing them
(abite i could do it myself for 100 times the price)

As you are part of our V.I.P. program Dave, Your's have preferential treatment. In fact, we've done them before you've even sent them.

We pride ourselves on our service!

C

roflmfao

I used this service (i believe it was contracted out to paul the 6th) expecting to get option 1) When i actually recieved these back i believe there had been a misscomunication and i got option 3) Now im bloody engaged!

Has any quality control been introduced in the meantime as im concerned that using your service again may result in more unexpected expendature





appart from that i have found out that people have started to talk to me now at squires.

We apologise most sincerly for your matrimonial sutiation. But under our terms and conditions, section 12a it clearly states, "If for any reason marriage results from our Slider grinding service, we are not bound by law to A) come to the reception, or B ) Be liable for any dowry arising from such situations, including, but not limited to Donkeys, Camels and Goats".

We have undergone a strict review of policies we now only contract to ACU licence holders and Paul the 6th is now freelance. As far as we know he only offers the "absolutely shaggnastied" service and does not run a VIP program..

We wish him the best in his new career.

C

New sliders in the post