grumpy letter to david cameron...

got sent this email today..........................

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the
money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the
following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back
their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

Also………..
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and
walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical
treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying
it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped
instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed
and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and
snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual
counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on
request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with
gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards
would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and
pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad
cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the
county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable
to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

Seen this before, it done the rounds even when labour were still in charge.

Great in theory

well isnt it lovely in theory - not gonna work though.

You really think if the govt gave me £1million I'd stick around?

And by the time most folk reach 50 their kids are more than likely going to be past the usual age for college and will probably have already engaged in a life of crime (if they are so inclined)...

[QUOTE=fenjer;2543013]well isnt it lovely in theory - not gonna work though.

You really think if the govt gave me £1million I'd stick around?

[QUOTE]

if only the finding illegals bit could be put into practice. give them the cow and nothing else

Do you know how valuable cows are?

[maviczap]

Originally Posted by fenjer

well isnt it lovely in theory - not gonna work though.

You really think if the govt gave me £1million I'd stick around?)...

You're nowhere near the qualifiying age, back of the que please

Originally Posted by fenjer

And by the time most folk reach 50 their kids are more than likely going to be past the usual age for college and will probably have already engaged in a life of crime (if they are so inclined)...

I'll be 50 this year, my eldest is 13, the youngest is 6, so plenty of time for them to go to college or uni and not likely to be engaged in a life of crime, except robbing my wallet

Where do I sign

Do I get to go and work abroad and then come back for my million when I'm 50?
I'll even come back at 49 and work for a year to qualify for the magic million....

[maviczap]

Originally Posted by leebex

if only the finding illegals bit could be put into practice

If only

[maviczap]

Originally Posted by fenjer

Do I get to go and work abroad and then come back for my million when I'm 50?
I'll even come back at 49 and work for a year to qualify for the magic million....

No because by the time you get back you will be classed as an illegal immigrant

Originally Posted by maviczap

No because by the time you get back you will be classed as an illegal immigrant

lol

Yeah, but Scotland will be independent by then and will be glad to see me back to return their earlier investment in me...so I'll still get my million.