i'm a grandfather - SV650.org

timwilky · 09-05-06, 06:33 PM

My son has just announced it, we have checked and one of his girlfriends gave birth on Sunday. We did not even know she was pregnant. My wife has just talked to her on the phone and she says she did not even know herself until last month.

The girl is still at school, she is about to take her GCSEs. I don't know whether I want to be sick or give my son a bloody good hiding. This is 3 young lives ruined. We always joked that having ensured our daughters had their contraception sorted that it would be him that would mess up. True to form, he has.

He has a pathetic job, his bosses expoit him and he currently earns £125 a week as an apprentice. How the hell can he accept his responsibilities.

I just want to cry. I had expected more of my kids.

09-05-06, 06:37 PM

err

congratulations

always support your kids mate.

09-05-06, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by timwilky

My son has just announced it, we have checked and one of his girlfriends gave birth on Sunday. We did not even know she was pregnant. My wife has just talked to her on the phone and she says she did not even know herself until last month.

How manys he got?

Seriously though, sex education in this country has a lot to answer for if you can go 8 months of not having a period and not have an idea somethings wrong. Or for not using contraception - by BOTH parties. Dont forget this girls as responsible as your son here.

Quote:

The girl is still at school, she is about to take her GCSEs. I don't know whether I want to be sick or give my son a bloody good hiding. This is 3 young lives ruined. We always joked that having ensured our daughters had their contraception sorted that it would be him that would mess up. True to form, he has.

He has a pathetic job, his bosses expoit him and he currently earns £125 a week as an apprentice. How the hell can he accept his responsibilities.

I just want to cry. I had expected more of my kids.

Ok, the reality is its happened. Feeling sick or disappointed wont help your son, and may alienate him in whats an already stressful situation.

End of the day, no matter how much you expect of your kids, you have to remember theyre young and human and dont have the benefit of a lifetime of mistakes to be wise from like we do.

Only thing I can say, is no matter how you feel, you need to be there for them. Try and help as much as you can. Is she going to keep the child? Would she consider adoption as an option? So many major decisions they both have to face - will be easier if they have your full support. Not presuming they wont, but if they feel like theyve let you down they wont be as open about it as you would like them to be.

09-05-06, 06:54 PM

Tim congratulations!
He's young, everybody makes mistakes. I'm sure he'll step up to his responsibilities.

Speedy · 09-05-06, 06:56 PM

I feel for you!

Trouble is it's too late now,and all the shouting and ****-kicking won't change the situation.

Is the Baby definitly His?

Hope you get it sorted,someway or another!

Speedy.

Spiderman · 09-05-06, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Speedy

I feel for you!

Trouble is it's too late now,and all the shouting and @rse-kicking won't change the situation.

Is the Baby definitly His?

Hope you get it sorted,someway or another!

Speedy.

what he said.

Good luck

09-05-06, 07:03 PM

I understand how you're feeling, but what's done is done.

There's nothing to be gained by worrying about what has happened; it's what happens next that's important.

Sometimes the best outcomes come from the most unlikely or most unattractive of situations.

Best of luck.

timwilky · 09-05-06, 07:09 PM

The annoying thing is that as soon as we found out that they were sleeping together, we immediately ensured he had sufficient condoms. My wife had a quiet word with her mother, who was first in denial and had to be told that her little girl was having sex.

Over the past year he has repeatedly told us that she was taking the pill.

I had one girlfriend in the 70s who never took a break because she did not want to have her periods, I can only assume this girl may have been the same, assuming that they have been honest all along.

I said one of his girlfriends as although she is the longest in duration he has currently 3 on the go. The worse thing being that one even knows about the other 2 and is competing for him.

He asked us for cash last night and with the amount of debt he currently has we told him to get lost. Now we realise why. The possibilities are the poor girl has nothing prepared in terms of baby clothing, bath, pram even nappies.

Her own parents are split and she lives with her father. I can envisage us getting involved, but tbh he has to grow up very quickly and they need to be honest with us in terms of requirements, intentions etc.

Well I am now off to the pub where I know her father will be. (He is there every night). I just hope that we can make this as pleasant as possible without recriminations

09-05-06, 07:16 PM

Just to add what the others have said - being there for them is the most important thing in the short term.

I know someone who caught out young and with help and support from the family it seemed to make the best of a bad situation.

09-05-06, 07:23 PM

Oh Tim I feel for you.

I think that when theshock has subsided and the dust has settled a bit you need to have a family chat and bash into your lad's head that a child is for life not just for Christmas. I'd make an appointment for him with the DSS or whoever and see what benefits mother, father and baby are entitled to. Get everything you can.

I really hope that there won't be a sea of recriminations, as Cronos has said you need to look forwards.

09-05-06, 06:33 PM	#1
timwilky Member Mega Poster Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Not in Yorkshire. (Thank God) Posts: 4,116	i'm a grandfather My son has just announced it, we have checked and one of his girlfriends gave birth on Sunday. We did not even know she was pregnant. My wife has just talked to her on the phone and she says she did not even know herself until last month. The girl is still at school, she is about to take her GCSEs. I don't know whether I want to be sick or give my son a bloody good hiding. This is 3 young lives ruined. We always joked that having ensured our daughters had their contraception sorted that it would be him that would mess up. True to form, he has. He has a pathetic job, his bosses expoit him and he currently earns £125 a week as an apprentice. How the hell can he accept his responsibilities. I just want to cry. I had expected more of my kids. __________________ Not Grumpy, opinionated.

09-05-06, 07:09 PM	#8
timwilky Member Mega Poster Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Not in Yorkshire. (Thank God) Posts: 4,116	The annoying thing is that as soon as we found out that they were sleeping together, we immediately ensured he had sufficient condoms. My wife had a quiet word with her mother, who was first in denial and had to be told that her little girl was having sex. Over the past year he has repeatedly told us that she was taking the pill. I had one girlfriend in the 70s who never took a break because she did not want to have her periods, I can only assume this girl may have been the same, assuming that they have been honest all along. I said one of his girlfriends as although she is the longest in duration he has currently 3 on the go. The worse thing being that one even knows about the other 2 and is competing for him. He asked us for cash last night and with the amount of debt he currently has we told him to get lost. Now we realise why. The possibilities are the poor girl has nothing prepared in terms of baby clothing, bath, pram even nappies. Her own parents are split and she lives with her father. I can envisage us getting involved, but tbh he has to grow up very quickly and they need to be honest with us in terms of requirements, intentions etc. Well I am now off to the pub where I know her father will be. (He is there every night). I just hope that we can make this as pleasant as possible without recriminations __________________ Not Grumpy, opinionated.

09-05-06, 06:37 PM	#2
kwak zzr Guest Posts: n/a	err congratulations always support your kids mate.

09-05-06, 06:54 PM	#4
Razor Guest Posts: n/a	Tim congratulations! He's young, everybody makes mistakes. I'm sure he'll step up to his responsibilities.

09-05-06, 06:56 PM	#5
Speedy Member Mega Poster Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Biggin Hill,Kent Posts: 1,074	I feel for you! Trouble is it's too late now,and all the shouting and ****-kicking won't change the situation. Is the Baby definitly His? Hope you get it sorted,someway or another! Speedy.

09-05-06, 07:03 PM	#7
Cronos Guest Posts: n/a	I understand how you're feeling, but what's done is done. There's nothing to be gained by worrying about what has happened; it's what happens next that's important. Sometimes the best outcomes come from the most unlikely or most unattractive of situations. Best of luck.

09-05-06, 07:16 PM	#9
MavUK Guest Posts: n/a	Just to add what the others have said - being there for them is the most important thing in the short term. I know someone who caught out young and with help and support from the family it seemed to make the best of a bad situation.

09-05-06, 07:23 PM	#10
Ed Guest Posts: n/a	Oh Tim I feel for you. I think that when theshock has subsided and the dust has settled a bit you need to have a family chat and bash into your lad's head that a child is for life not just for Christmas. I'd make an appointment for him with the DSS or whoever and see what benefits mother, father and baby are entitled to. Get everything you can. I really hope that there won't be a sea of recriminations, as Cronos has said you need to look forwards.