Where does dust come from?

[Fallout]

So I have a hypothesis on this, and I think it's an important subject we all need to discuss; perhaps more important than global warming, aids and even tea scum.

I know what you're all thinking. Human skin right? We've all heard that one. Dust is made of human skin. People may have also read articles that say that's wrong and it's in fact mainly clothing fibres with a small amount of human skin, but I disagree.

Have you ever been in the loo (I'm sure you have), with the sun streaming in through the window on a sunny day. You've gone to tear off a piece of bog roll and find yourself enveloped in a cloud of bog roll particles so thick that, if you were to breathe in, you may in fact drown. I'm sure you have. It's called the bog roll blizzard. Now, unless you have chronic chronic dandruf, have you ever casually brushed your hand down you arm and seen similar plumes of skin billowing into the air, like you have some form of spontaneous leprocy? Similarly, have you ever pulled on a t-shirt and found yourself gagging on cotton fibres falling from said garment? No, I bet you haven't.

Multiply that bog roll ripping dust factor by however many sheets you tear off, however many visits you make to the bog and however many people you have in your family, and soon you find yourself in an environment where bog roll dust is being produced at a scarily high rate. Add to that the fact most bathrooms are tiled or lino-ed, so there are no carpet fibres to trap this dust, and you have an enormous source of dust with no filter mechanism.

So there you have it. That's my hypothesis. Dust doesn't come from skin, or clothes; it comes from bog roll. I would bet 3 whole English pounds on that fact.

[punyXpress]

Izal doesn't make dust.
Not very good for its intended purpose either.

[Fallout]

Originally Posted by punyXpress

Izal doesn't make dust.
Not very good for its intended purpose either.

Is that like that plastic stuff, made from recycled tyres and glue? What's it medicated with? What sort of medicine does an bum really need? Calpol?

Nice theory, you must get some off clothes too - my belly button fluff has changed from blue to red now my companies changed it's uniform.

If we don't wear clothes or wipe our bums we should live in a dust free world then?

[punyXpress]

Probably carbolic acid

[punyXpress]

Too much navel-gazing there, Hol!
Amazing what blokes get up to on a few rainy days.

You could be on to something. Records show much less dust per wipe during the years when tracing paper and newspaper were used to wipe ones crack. Suggest you publish quickly before someone nicks your idea. Good work!

[Fallout]

Originally Posted by HoL

Nice theory, you must get some off clothes too - my belly button fluff has changed from blue to red now my companies changed it's uniform.

If we don't wear clothes or wipe our bums we should live in a dust free world then?

I think you're right. We can either wear only latex and use bidets, or alternatively, all migrate to the Congo where swanning about naked is accepted and the weather is also kind to exposed tackle.

Originally Posted by The Idle Biker

You could be on to something. Records show much less dust per wipe during the years when tracing paper and newspaper were used to wipe ones crack. Suggest you publish quickly before someone nicks your idea. Good work!

While I fully understand the far reaching ramifications of my discovery, and the bewildering possibilities it presents to mankind, I am no glory hunter. When the world changes to sand paper based toilet roll in the pursuit of better vascular health, I will be content to sit back and think to myself "I'm responsible for all those red raw lacerated cheeks." I will move quietly among crowds knowing my work is responsible for their uncomfortable looking faces and their awkward descent whenever they go to sit down. I'll know I helped save them. For me that is enough.

[Littlepeahead]

And cat litter. That produces immense amounts of dust. Though the cats don't use toilet paper of course. They prefer to lick their bottoms when I have guests round.

LOL, even if only one sphincter is grazed in a dust free bathroom it's all been worthwhile.

I'm gonna start stockpiling Andrex Velvet. I'll make a fortune on the black - or should that be brown market