Random thoughts

See below, the slinky one is my favourite

Originally Posted by someone who sent me these in an email

Life is sexually transmitted.


Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.


Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.


Health freaks are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.


Why does a slight tax increase cost you 50 quid and a substantial tax cut saves you 50p?


In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Too true, too true...

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

I used to do a bit of work on a trawler off the west of Ireland, I heard that, or almost that one ever day I was on the boat.
I would be standing out, thinking there was no one paying attention, studying the sky or the sea, with my lips all drawn tight and probably a bit of a frown.

And one of the lads would stroll out, big slap on the back, "Dont worry about the weather Phil. It wont be worrying about you. Nothing to fear out there."

I was never sure what to think of it. But I ran the same line through my head a thousand times when the boat was heaving about on those massive Atlantic rollers.

Another line I like is one from Sean Kelly, an Irish cyclist. "You can't tell what the weather's like looking at it through the kitchen window." Brilliant line. Get out in it, examine it carefully for about six hours, come back in, and deduce...

"Its raining."