2nd joke of the day...i'm on a roll

Two blokes are pushing their shopping trolleys around a supermarket

when they collide.



The first bloke says to the second bloke, "Sorry about that. I'm

looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I

was going".



The second bloke says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for

my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate".



The first bloke says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does

your wife look like"?



The second bloke says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, 5 feet 11 inches tall,



with blonde hair, blue eyes, big jubblies, long legs and is wearing

tiny little shorts and a crop top. What does your wife look like"?



The first bloke says, "Bollox to her, let's look for yours."

[21QUEST]

..and now I have to go find your other one

Cheers
Ben

[Skip]

Thats superb!

Pah, call that funny????

How about this little gem.

The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.

One Sunday morning, before Mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the c!£k was missing.

He knew about c!£k fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in Church. During Mass, he asked the congregation:

Has anybody got a c!£k?"

All the men stood up.

No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant.

Has anybody seen a c!£k?"

All the women stood up.

No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant.

Has anybody seen a c!£k that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up.

No, no," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY c!£k?"

Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

both of those are funny

LOL!!

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens.

When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And without a word, Henry then strutted into the hen house.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pig house where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop, Henry, you'll kill yourself." But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Henry.

The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you big buddy."

"Shhhhh," Henry whispered, "The buzzard is getting closer."




A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK, old fart, time to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, you can't handle ALL these chickens. Look what it's done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over."
The old rooster says "I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs, "You know you don't stand a chance old man, so just to be fair, I'll give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He's already about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by, one right behind the other. He grabs his shotgun and BOOM! -- he blows the young rooster to bits.
The farmer sadly shakes his head, "Damn...third gay rooster I've bought this month."

very good.....