Parents - Continued from Being Grumpy..

So im sat here in my house in my evening having been up hours since half past 6,

Feeling guilty because my mum is in hospital and i didnt want to see her tonight...

Now that may sound mean, but she suffers from epilepsy and psuedo seizures, ( a mental illness that manifests its self in physical fits) and she is constantly in and out of hospital.

She moved in with me in Feburary as a temporary thing but its now october and her work are talking of making here redundant meaning she wont be able to move out into her own place again.... and im sick of it, i have no ide how catherine lives with it...

the number of phone calls.. sleepless nights because i assume shes in hospital, the phoning round hopsitals taking a guess where she is and seeing her in a hospital drugged up looking like a three year old because she is so unwell...

im sick and tired off it... so grumpy i may be today but also not sure wether to cry or laugh..... ..

Am i evil...

again.. just needed a place to vent....

Aw Alex

Sounds like you need a break. Can you take even a few days off to get away someplace?

Don't feel cruel and heartless. I'm sure you love your mother dearly but you can't be expected to live like that. You need some space. Can you get a carer/s in to look after her? Maybe Social Services can help?

You've got to think of yourself as well y'know.

Originally Posted by Ed

+1, sounds like you are having a tough time.

how old is she? are there special homes where she could go? doesn't sound like she is fit to be on her own....carer/s??

sorry to hear about this - have had a similar situation with a close relative myself before, and it can be really tough.

Def try and find out what help you/your mother can get in terms of financial/other support. Even just a break or help here and there can make all the difference.

You are not alone pal.

For the last 4 years my Grandad has had alzheimer's.

It started off quite slowly but now he doesnt even know what day it is. He knows something is wrong but doesnt know what and it is heartbraking.
Whenever I see him, which is not as often as id like or it should be, I dont know wheather to laugh or cry.

Some bits are still good because he was there for my passing out parade when I joined the RAF and he still remembers that and he still likes to talk about when he was in the airforce.

You arent evil at all you just dont like seing somebody you really care about in a rough state.

Stay strong and feel free to vent as you feel like it.

I would imagine that everyone who is or has been a carer has had these thoughts, I certainly did. Try to find some respite care, the hospital should be able to point you in the right direction. If your mum does, in your opinion, deteriorate beyond the point were you and yours will not be able to cope, do not allow her to return to your home. This sounds terribly hard, a "bed blocker" will have a higher priority for a specialist care place than someone already cared for by family.

I wish you all the best, it not a nice position to be in.

[northwind]

Like Mogs says, I can almost guarantee that every person in your position thinks the same at some point. But nobody wants to admit it because it's totally taboo to actually say it, I know I never did... Sort of like most parents won't admit to being worn out or miserable looking after new kids, because everyone else tells them how wonderful or natural it is. It's a hell of a thing to deal with, the last thing you need is to be feeling guilty about it as well, but it's not that simple is it, you can't just switch it off.