Doh!! Need free petrol substitute!! Mcgyver in the house?

Do we have any resident mcgyvers?
Managed to forget my bank card at work and overestimated my fuel light warning range!
Managed to push the bike 3 miles back to office but need to find a way to make the bike go 48 miles using:

£4.00 in change
2 large cardboard boxes
4x shoelaces
A can of chain lube
A suit
A spare pair of army boots (german WWII)
5 hair bands
Motorbike gear
I.T supplies from office
A traffic cone
Empty 2 litre tropical juice carton (plastic)
300 cable ties
A broken iphone
A laptop (wifi enabled)
A laser pointer
A backpack
A magnetic tank bag

Use as many or as few of those as you like and tell me your plan
(I'm actually now sorted - seperate post incoming - but figured out of boredom i'd see what your nutty minds could come up with)

RAC/ AA membership??? Sign up online, i am sure they will take 300 cable ties as payment

[keith_d]

Walk into town, pawn the laptop for £50, take the juice carton to the petrol station and fill it with petrol. Walk back, put two litres of petrol into the bike. Ride to the pub, half way home, spend the remaining £47 on beer then stagger home in time for morning.

Wake up in your front garden with no laptop, no clue how you arrived home, and no idea where your bike is. Try to piece your evening together from a hangover, a pawn ticket and some woman's phone number on the back of your hand.

AA membership ran out on 1st and was not relay anyway so would have been no use.

I like Keith's idea XD, sounds like the start of an epic tale ^_^
Though I'm not sure the juice carton will stand upto holding petrol for any period of time, it's apretty cheap ass flimsy tesco's own thing will probably melt before I get back

simples put the 4 quid in in fuel and ride like a granny, job jobbed, if that's not enough, manufacture a drive mechanism out of paper clips, then using the hairbands wind it up to give that extra boost reqd, hth.

hmmm, i get about 150 miles out of £20 of the good stuff before refueling.
so lets call that £6.50ish required not sure even granny riding will give me +62.5% efficiency
Will look into ingenious hairband/paperclip fuel enhancer, will give you 50% of the patent revenue if it works

Go to the petrol station, fill the carton with the £4 you have. Go back, put said petrol in the bike. Go to a different station. Fill up as normal, then when you go to pay, act like you've forgotten your wallet. You should fill out couple of forms and then have to come back and pay up in a set amount of days.
I had to do this after actually genuinely forgetting my wallet and filling up. Ah it was so embarassing seeing as a pillion I was taking out for a ride (which was a rather nice girl I happened to be seeing at the time) was just standing awkwardly on the forecourt for 5 or so minutes. I was a good boy and went back the next day to pay though.

Yeah I've done that before as well and it's sooooo freaking embarassing

[punyXpress]

Scooter, 120 miles from home & enough fuel for about 30
Problem!
Ferrari - 'only' a 308 stopped at side of road with bonnet up.
Throttle cable lost its nipple.
Rummaged in tools & found a Lambretta gear change nipple which was fitted in about 5 minutes.
What do I owe you, young man? ( it was a very long time ago )
Call it a fiver - he settled on ten.
Result!