I Hate Motorcycles More Than Anything

[Stu]

Not me you understand , but Giles Coren, who writes restaurant reviews for the Times, published this rather scathing piece on motorcycles in Saturday's edition.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/com...cle4685931.ece

"I read in The Times the other day that the electric motorcycle, already very popular in India, is to be introduced into Britain. And it got me thinking about motorcycles, which I hate more than anything. Anything. More than Nazis, bungee-jumpers and dog poo all rolled into one (ooh, yuk).

I hate them for the noise that they make, and how their riders just don't care that their journey from A to B briefly ruins the lives of countless thousands along their route.

I hate the teenagers on my block who race their screeching scooters up and down the street all day, their helmets sitting back high on their heads so that they are looking out from under them, doing wheelies in their skanky grey sweatpants and box-fresh trainers, killing time until dusk, when the crack barons start chucking them courier work.

I hate motorbikes because they fill the gaps in waves of urban traffic, so that just when you think it's safe to pull out, some ******** appears from nowhere doing 140mph, so that you ram on your brakes to save his life, and he flips you a rigid middle finger for your efforts.

And I hate them for rocketing up between lanes on busy high streets (illegally overtaking stationary traffic) and killing people who are just trying to cross the road.

I hate the ones who deliver obesity in big flat boxes of starch and processed cheese (about whom I have said enough in the past, God rot them), and most of all I hate the mopeds ridden by traffic wardens, who are theoretically employed to keep traffic moving and streets safe, but in fact create an extra circuit of slow-moving traffic around the pavement, double-parking to squint into windscreens, clipping wing mirrors, gratuitously polluting the atmosphere because they are too lazy or too greedy to walk (and, at the same time, depriving communities of the single, tiny benefit that they once provided, of representing a pair of uniformed eyes and ears in the absence of beat policemen).

The great thing about the electric motorbike is that it doesn't make any noise, so it won't wake anyone up, it doesn't smell and it doesn't go very fast so won't screw up the traffic flow, and thus will also be of no use for teeny crack-deal getaways, which means that, er, oh, I guess nobody will buy one. "

So does anyone feel guilty about their bike now?

ermmm no.....

****

i hope he gets hit by a goldwing

[the_lone_wolf]

not really...

sounds like a sad little man who's secretly jealous that some people don;t have to sit in traffic, but then being a food critic i'm not surprised, i bet he's got a tiny wang too

What a complete and utter toss pot!
And no makes me feel prouder, he has made me want to take out my baffel ( the bike was loud enough with it )

[the_lone_wolf]

i wonder if i wrote the times a letter explaining how filtering is not illegal and that car drivers are more likely to cause an accident involving a pedestrian if it'd get published

[G]

Originally Posted by Faisal

i hope he gets hit by a goldwing

Sod that, the new ones have pasenger and pedestrian airbags.

I hope he gets hit by a harley riding hells angel.

ooooorrr we could have a meet outside the times head office just to make his life a little worse than it already sounds.

This 'bloke' sounds like a right old fart. So disappointed with his own life he seems to take it out on everybody he is envious of. Bet you he owns a rover and has a particularly embittered relationship with his 'partner/boyfriend/mother' (delete as appropreate).

To$$er...nuf said