Don't touch the tools if you don't know what you are doing

[timwilky]

Well there I was last night, naked. I know it isn't a pretty sight, but I was about to get my soak in the tub. Nice glass of brandy on the side, music wafting in from the bedroom as her indoors slapped on the curlers, cold cream and generally got herself ready for a night of lurrrvvve. When the door bell went.

So on with dressing gown. (You cannot expect the innocent at the door to be exposed to the wife in whole her true glory, we reserve that for when she streaks down hotel corridors). It is Bryan from over the road, the new owner over a somewhat neglected ZX9. Can I have a look at his bike, he is struggling.


So glad of the excuse to delay the inevitable, get dressed and nip over. His bike is on front/rear stands. Brake callipers swinging on their lines. "I have followed the manual but cannot get the front wheel off"

So he has removed the bolts at the bottom of the forks that not only clamp up the axle spindle, but also the spindle retainer. So turning the spindle simply turned the complete axle assembly and did not release the spindle. So nip back home and back with big allen key sockets and breaker bar, tie wraps. Spindle released and wheel out.

I then tie wrap his swinging callipers so they are no longer suspended on the lines.

OK why do you want the front wheel out as he lays it on the floor and starts to heave on the disc bolts. Turns out they are going for paint with the replacement fairing bits. I explain not to rest a wheel on a disc and the damage it can do. Get him to support the wheel/tyre upright whilst I undo the bolts.

Back removed easily, both wheels over to my place where I deflate, brake bead and in with tyre levers,rim protectors to remove.

He saying I just use a couple of old screw drivers. Agghhh flipping incompetent bodgers, send him back on his way, lock up the garage.

Back home, the bath is now cold, so swig the brandy, jump into shower. creep into bedroom, Medusa is snoring like a content gorgon. cuddle up, job done.

Only a week to go before I get the, can you put my tyres on, help me the fairings etc. Last weeks disaster was the tank removal where he dismantled the fuel tap to remove the tank, instead of just taking off the knob and dropped a gallon all over his floor. (plus tearing an O ring).

I am starting to think people should get a certificate of competence before they are allowed to buy even basic tools. Still at least he has not yet cut holes in the frame to improve air flow.

[yorkie_chris]

Rofl. You sound like Mr Barraclough

[Viney]

We all learn somewhere! Some are more adept at these things than others.

you naked..

need right tool for the job?

get back wife asleep.

nuff said..

Just think of it as your good deed for the week

[Jayneflakes]

I hope that you did not touch another man's tool... People will talk.

Some folk do not take to mechanical jobs with the ease that others do. There are occasions when just giving it a good thumping with a hammer is the perfect fix, but knowing when is the true skill.

A friend of mine decided that he had dirty tyres, so he cleaned them with a kind of tyre wax for show cars. He cleaned the sides up nicely and then did the tread to a lovely shine. He was so pleased with the result, until he had to ride it and it slid every where due to the grease in the wax. Some people are daft because they do not know better or have not been told better. My friend is looking for new tyres now because weeks after doing it, the cornering surfaces are still oily to the touch. I doubt he will make that mistake again.

lol had a vision of you in your satin dressing gown squatting down to help this guy with your wobbly bits blowing in the wind, I have managed to scrub the image from my brain though, so no lasting damage.

[timwilky]

Hazel, I know you to be a broad minded lass, I therefore doubt your dodgy thoughts of me and my wobbly bits will damage you. Besides which, I did say I got dressed.

I learnt this after trying to change the plugs on my cbr600rr...

suffice to say I had to pay for it to be collected and taken to a dealer to be fixed...

I will only do very very basic things now