Passport letter lol

[hindle8907]

This made me laugh .....

AN ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER SENT:

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

For goodness sake, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on allthe income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-****ing-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I'm really ****ed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bull****! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ****ing address !!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal ********s workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for **** sakes. I just want to go and park my **** on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a **** whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last ****ing people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another ****ing copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the ****in' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some ******** to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic ****in' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally ****ed off!

Signed
An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ........ However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN ****ING PAKISTAN !

Sincerely,

fromYou Sure The Hell Should Know Who.

[the_lone_wolf]

Originally Posted by hindle8907

AN ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER SENT:

Without even looking it up, no it isn't...

[hindle8907]

Im not saying it is . i just copied and pasted ...
its still funny either way

i know its a bit out there but why is it not real?

[the_lone_wolf]

Originally Posted by warrenhewitt10

i know its a bit out there but why is it not real?

Because it's so obviously not

These things get passed around all the time and all the signifiers are there, the "this is really real" tag, the "reference to another culture", the fact that you can order birth certificates online, by post and by phone

I'd say it's a weak chain mail that originated in the USA, hence the "my family's been in this country since 1776" line, combine that with the "National Health Card" reference and it's pretty clearly been edited to be used over here

Originally Posted by the_lone_wolf

I'd say it's a weak chain mail that originated in the USA, hence the "my family's been in this country since 1776" line, combine that with the "National Health Card" reference and it's pretty clearly been edited to be used over here

Coupled with the fact that satellite TV didn't start here until 1989 but 1975 in the states. We can get same day passports, not many retired people I know swear with common americanisms, we don't fill in custom declaration forms, &c, &c

Oooh ooh let me find this awesome link to a biker, you totally won't believe it but he drove into the back of a tractor trailer and survived because he was wearing his helmet!

Originally Posted by the_lone_wolf

Without even looking it up, no it isn't...

'AN ACTUAL' always means 'this was made up recently on the internet'.

For a start, Sky TV wasn't founded until the 1989, so he couldn't have had a satellite dish from them in 1977.

[hindle8907]

he may have been taking the Michael, saying from back in 1977
I know its more than likely not real or it has been edited, it still made me chuckle though so i would share.
does it matter if its real or fake lol .

[hindle8907]

Originally Posted by metalangel

Oooh ooh let me find this awesome link to a biker, you totally won't believe it but he drove into the back of a tractor trailer and survived because he was wearing his helmet!

what's wrong with that ..... ?