Puzzling questions..

1. IF A MAN IS STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST SPEAKING AND THERE IS NO WOMAN AROUND TO HEAR HIM - IS HE STILL WRONG?
2. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
3. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
4. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
5. ISN'T IT A BIT UNNERVING THAT DOCTORS CALL WHAT THEY DO "PRACTICE?"
6. WHEN YOU OPEN A BAG OF COTTON BALLS, IS THE TOP ONE MEANT TO BE REMOVED?
7. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
8. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
9. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
10. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
11. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
12. WHY DON'T SHEEP SHRINK WHEN IT RAINS?
13. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
14. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
15. HOW DO THEY GET THE DEER TO CROSS AT THE ROAD SIGN?
16. WHY DO THEY STERILISE NEEDLES FOR LETHAL INJECTIONS?
17. WHY DID KAMIKAZE PILOTS WEAR HELMETS?
18. IS IT TRUE THAT CANNIBALS DON'T EAT CLOWNS BECAUSE THEY TASTE FUNNY?
19. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
20. WHY DOESN'T TARZAN HAVE A BEARD?
21. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
22. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.
23. ATHEISM IS A NON PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
24. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
25. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
26. NEVER TRUST A STOCKBROKER WHO'S MARRIED TO A TRAVEL AGENT.
27. THOSE WHO LIVE BY THE SWORD GET SHOT BY THOSE WHO DON'T.
28. IS BONELESS CHICKEN CONSIDERED TO BE AN INVERTEBRATE?
29. IT MUST BE TRUE THAT MEN ARE FROM MARS. LOOK AT HOW THE PLACE HAS DETERIORATED.
30. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU HAVE DIFFERENT FINGERS.
31. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
32. IF PSYCHICS KNOW THE WINNING LOTTERY NUMBERS, WHY ARE THEY ALL STILL WORKING?
33. WHY DO YOU NEED A DRIVER'S LICENSE TO BUY LIQUOR SINCE YOU CAN'T DRINK AND DRIVE?
34. WHY ISN'T PHONETIC SPELLED THE WAY IT SOUNDS?
35. WHY ARE THERE INTERSTATE HIWAYS IN HAWAII?
36. WHY ARE CIGARETTES SOLD IN GAS STATIONS, WHEN SMOKING IS PROHIBITED THERE?
37. DO YOU NEED TO USE A SILENCER IF YOU ARE GOING TO SHOOT A MIME?
38. HOW DOES THE GUY WHO DRIVES THE SNOWPLOW GET TO WORK IN THE MORNING?
39. IF 7-11 IS OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY, 365 DAYS A YEAR, WHY ARE THERE LOCKS ON THE DOORS?
40. IF A COW LAUGHED, WOULD MILK COME OUT OF HER NOSE?
41. IF NOTHING STICKS TO TEFLON, HOW DO THEY GET TEFLON TO STICK TO THE PAN?
42. IF YOU ARE IN A VEHICLE TRAVELLING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TURN ON THE HEADLIGHTS?
43. MOST PACKAGES SAY "OPEN HERE"; WHAT IS THE CORRECT PROTOCOL TO USE IF A PACKAGE SAYS "OPEN SOMEWHERE ELSE?"
44. WHY ARE THERE BRAILLE INSTRUCTIONS ON DRIVE-IN AUTOMATIC TELLER MACHINES?
45. WHY DO WE PARK ON DRIVEWAYS AND DRIVE ON PARKWAYS?
46. WHY DO OUR NOSES RUN, AND OUR FEET SMELL?
47. WHY IS IT WHEN YOU TRANSPORT SOMETHING BY CAR, IT'S CALLED A SHIPMENT, BUT WHEN YOU TRANSPORT SOMETHING BY SHIP IT'S CALLED CARGO?
48. WHY DO WE PLAY IN RECITALS, AND RECITE IN PLAYS?
49. YOU KNOW THAT LITTLE INDESTRUCTIBLE BLACK BOX THAT IS USED ON AIRPLANES? WHY DON'T THEY JUST MAKE THE WHOLE PLANE OUT OF THE SAME SUBSTANCE?
50. WHY ARE THERE FLOATATION DEVICES UNDER AIRLINE SEATS INSTEAD OF PARACHUTES?
51. WHY DOES MINUTE RICE REQUIRE FIVE MINUTES TO COOK?
52. WHY DO WE TURN DOWN THE VOLUME ON OUR AUTOMOBILE RADIOS WHEN WE ARE DRIVING AND TRYING TO FIND AN ADDRESS?
53. WHY DO MEN REFUSE TO STOP AND ASK FOR DIRECTIONS, AND WOMEN REFUSE TO LEARN HOW TO READ MAPS?


Ste.