Unexcusable ineptitude

[timwilky]

OK, rather than add to the woes of others in another thread by the application of a thick layer of numpty tags. What are the worse examples of ineptitude you have come across.

I guess most of us know stories of help requests that come down to the plug need inserting in the socket etc.

However, my favourite is the supposed story of the lady who topped up the water in her car by removing the oil filler and pouring a couple of gallon of water in. That I can believe unlike the infamous beetle story of the car that wont start, lifts bonnet and aghast, somebody has stolen her engine. No problem says her friend with an identical car, I have a spare in the boot. You can have that.

Still, some would suggest using a screw for a puncture repair. It takes all sorts.

[punyXpress]

First Bike - Lambretta Li125
Front brake shoes low, so ride to Comerfords ( BIG dealers SW London ) on a busy Saturday Morning.
Loads of peeps there, so pull up in style!
Brake hard on & spot gravel near kerb. Brake off - BRAKE OFF - BRAKE OFF!
No joy, brake cam was across the shoe ends.
Hit the gravel shortly followed by the deck. Amazing how much noise a falling scooter makes!
Face as red as a babboon's ar$e
Happy daze.

My mother picking up a ringing mobile phone, holding the top of the phone to her mouth like a walkie talkie microphone, and shouting "HELLO?"

Cousins wife topping up the engine oil for about an hour by pouring it down the dipstick tube. Needless to say there was more on the ground than went in the car as she used a quart of oil

[Bri w]

Er, it wasn't me who also oiled the brake discs on my first bike...

Definitely not me

[keith_d]

An Egyptian pulling two sharks out of the Red Sea last Friday, one the wrong species, and claiming that the shark attack problem had been solved.

wheeling a fiends scooter into the garage. note the front brake inst working so to do them a favour I go to tighten up the front brake cable at the shoe hub... shear the adjuster off...

I walk in apologising, to be told.. its OK.. it doesn't have any shoes in the front hub...


AGHHHHHH

[timwilky]

OK I will add one of my own.

Car broke down. Called out younger brother.

I take car keys out of the ignition, open boot remove tow rope, slam boot closed, attach tow rope between mine/brothers car and off we go.

first corner, turn, click steering lock engages, yes keys are still in the boot lock.

my dad once towed a girl he worked with car as she had broken down. She was doing my dad a favour by working the saturday so dad went up to the office to tow her home where her boyfriend could fix the car. I had to go with him as two young to stay at home by myself and mum and sister where out.

Dad sets all of it up and checks that she is alright. Me and dad jump in his car, her in her's..... first corner we go round she overtakes us!

Dad stopped and asked her what the hell she thinks she is doing. She explains that she was nearly going to hit the back of dad's car so pulled out to stop herself doing that.... dad asks why she didn't just dab the brake! She turned round and said you are doing the driving..... my dad then spent 10 mins explaining that when he uses the brakes and she sees his brake lights come on that she must also do that! It took a lot to explain to her that dad braking did not transfer down the rope!

Young Timothy, I am afraid the title of this thread must fall in to the category! You didn't spellcheck the first word did you fella?

If your as anal as me see below....




















Inexcusable,(unexcusable is a Wlkyism)