My Lost/Stolen Thread

[Fallout]

I thought I'd start a thread in which I can vent about the continuing disappearance of my various belongings due to thieves, and the tidy fairy. Hopefully this will somehow allow me to deal with it, rather than further building up my internal rage which would one day result in me going postal and literally killing everyone in the whole world.

There are many items that have gone missing over the years, so I'm just going to start with the recent ones.

- Sony Camcorder vanished from dinning room table on the weekend of the 4th of August. Searched entire house including garage. Suspected theft. (FOUND!)

- Brand new axle wrench tool arrived Saturday 11th. Was unwrapped and packaged and left on lounge coffee table. Never used and not seen since. Searched lounge, my office and brief look in garage. Suspected tidy fairy. (FOUND!)

- New lighter from LPH came home with me from my night out last night. Last seen when I put my smokes on the window ledge, complete with lighter, as I always do. Came down this morning, some fags taken and lighter vanished. I'll never see that again. Lighters are lost at a rate of about 1 every other day. (FOUND!)

More later, without a shadow of a doubt ...

[pookie]

memory ...lost never found again
virginity....had it once may still have it but cant remember see above

Simon my leige you need a "DUMPING DRAW" - Bare with thins post dude its worth it!

I had the exact same problem with my misses as you have with yours. Like you I leave things in a place where I'd be either reminded of something or somewhere that I specifically know I left it. Eg, wedding ring always sleeps near the toothbrushes so in a morning I brush my teeth and remember to pop my ring on.

Anyway, I have often had the same frustrations you're on about and always when I NEEDED something right there and then. I go to where I knew I'd placed it last only to see the shelf/windowledge/mantal/sideboard etc all suspiciously clean. Then the fun begins (and this is a specific example).
Me: "Wife, where are my sunglasses?"
Wife: "Not seen them"
Me: "I left them on top of the microwave, they're not there now"
Wife: "You must have moved them"
Me: "I did, I moved them to be on top of the microwave so I'd know where to find them, you must have moved them from there to somewhere new"
Wife: "I tidied up last night, they'll be where they're supposed to be"
Me: "they're SUPPOSED to be on top of the microwave, where I left them! Where exactly have decided they needed to be?"
Wife: "I dont know, have a look by the TV in our bedroom"
Me: *thinks, wtf would they be there for? - goes to see, no glasses - "Nope, not there"
Wife: "Erm, I may have put them with the hats and spare keys by the front door"
Me: *thinks, wtf would they be there for? - goes to see, finds glasses - "Yeah, got em"
Wife: "Maybe now you'll put your own things away"

This comment was ignored by me until I later landed back on the topic, the result was the invention of the "Dumping Draw" the rules are simple. If I have something in my possession which has no need to be "put away" but is equally likely to be tidied away if left out then I drop it in my dumping draw. If I happen to leave something out and Wife decides its in need to relocating then she too must deposit said item into the dumping draw.

The benefit to utilising the dumping draw is instant, and its fool proof in its simplicity.
If an item is relocated and the dumping draw is not its new home then the s*** is free to hit the fan.

NB: The dumping draw will need emptying from time to time - secondary benifit to this is that in those moments where you need to get the feck out of the company of your live in womble you can go remove the draw and carry it upstairs sorting through it in great detail, these "dumping draw sorting sessions" become the new "I think my mums calling me, bye"

Its a win win win win win win

[Sir Trev]

Originally Posted by Owenski

Me: "Wife, where are my sunglasses?"
Wife: "Not seen them"
Me: "I left them on top of the microwave, they're not there now"
Wife: "You must have moved them"

This is spookily familiar... Or how about:

Me: "Darling, where are the car keys?"
Wife: "Probably where you left them."
Me: "But you drove the car last, so where did you put them?"
Wife: "No idea. Try my handbag."
Me: "Where's your handbag?"
Wife: "No idea."
Wife "Why are you repeatedly hitting your head against the wall again?"

I'll add a missing item to the list - the guest airbed. We've found the box it used to live it but have searched the house, garage and shed. Either the dog has burried it or we have a poltergiest.

[Fallout]

Matt, that is a sound plan. I fear my Mrs may not be able to adhere to it, but it's worth a try. Chances are she'll a) forget, or b) not bother, or c) put her own **** in there, but I will give it a go. We have a poooooooof which opens up and you can put stuff inside, and it is indeed full of craap, but I can empty that out and give it a go.

The camcorder was nicked though. Not much I can do about that, except perhaps make a torture draw for putting the thieves in when I catch them.

[Littlepeahead]

You already lost the birthday present I sent you?! Well that is just rubbish.

I don't usually tidy Stu's stuff. The only thing I occasionally do it put his clothes away in the wardrobe which means he'll spend a while looking for something and when he moans he can't find it anywhere I'll ask if he's checked in the wardrobe and he'll look puzzled and ask why on earth his clothes would be in there.

I did keep tripping over his third bass guitar which was in a case in the bedroom. With 2 others cluttering up the house I said he should sell this one as he never plays it. He argued that he does, all the time. Well I sneaked it into the loft the weekend of AR when I got the tents out and he's yet to notice that it has vanished. But at least I know where it is and it's quite safe up there.

[Fallout]

I didn't lose it. It has been taken. And when I ask for it back tonight, she won't be able to find it. So unless you expect me to build a fort knox style vault in my house and put everything I own in there, and check it out when I want to use/wear something, and check it back in when I'm finished with it, things are gonna go missing. Really liked that lighter too!

As for the bass guitar, no man needs 3. You made the right move Clare. See, at least you know where you're putting things. It's not just a mindless fit of spasticated "cleaning" where the grap-item-then-throw-into-dark-corner movement is completely disconnected from the brain. I could live with you.

Why did they discontinue Wife Swap?

[SoulKiss]

Originally Posted by Fallout

Why did they discontinue Wife Swap?

Surely you are wanting "Partner Dump" not Wife Swap ?

The S... erm Cooking, cant be THAT good to live in the misery you seem to be condemned to.

[Littlepeahead]

Stu's argument with the bass guitars is that I have lots of camera gear but I say that most of it fits in one bag, and it mostly lives in my office. Along with my shoes and handbags. I have a huge 4 drawer filing cabinet in the office, and you might be mistaken for thinking I file important documents in it. But no, it is a cunningly disguised shoe and handbag storage unit.

I've gotta be honest pal, as I assume your misses mates are female and thus violence is out of the question but I'd be kicking up a proper s**t storm about this camera, her mates would most certainly be banned from coming near the place until its returned.

Doesnt matter the excuses I'd have zero tollerance for someone:
a, knicking it and
b, others pretending nothings wrong with that

Doesn't matter about anything else, you worked to get the money to buy that camera no one has any excuse for taking it. You're misses is free to see her mates away from the property but until the camera is returned no one who was there that night is allowed back in. Simple.