From Liverpool? Then don't read this. - SV650.org

Sid Squid · 10-03-06, 05:35 PM

The manager of Liverpool FC sends scouts out round the World
looking for a new striker to hopefully win Liverpool the title.

One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he
thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So the manager flies to
Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come
over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only
twenty minutes left, and Liverpool's manager gives the young Iraqi
striker the nod to go on. The lad is a sensation, scores five goals in
twenty minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted,
the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his
first day in English football.

"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for twenty minutes today,
we were 4-0 down but I scored five and we won. Everybody loves me, the
fans, the players and the media, they all love me."

"Great," says his Mum, "now let me tell you about my day. Your
father got shot in the street, your sister and I were assualted and beaten
and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a
great time."

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry".

"Sorry?!?" says his Mum. "It's YOUR fault that we moved to
Liverpool in the first place!"

10-03-06, 05:53 PM

I suppose we shouldn't laugh though, well alright maybe just a little

.

.

10-03-06, 06:22 PM

Stingo · 10-03-06, 06:44 PM

11-03-06, 11:19 AM

two young kids playing football on a field in manchester. a rotweiler being walked suddenly attacks one of the boys.
the other lad finds a piece of scaffold pole and leaps in beating the dog to death.
a local news paper reporter is walking by and see whats going on and rushes over.
after find ing out that the boy who has been attacked has only suffered minor cuts,he turns round to the other lad and says this would make a graet headline for the manchester echo..i can see the headline now..
YOUNG LAD SAVES FREIND FROM VICSIOUS DOG....no,not dramatic enough...i know...MANCHESTER UNITED FAN SAVES FREIND FROM SAVAGE DOG.
the hero pipes up and says...but i dont support manchester united.
oh,oh..who do you support then,the young lad replies "liverpool"
great shouts the reporter...this will make a great headline
"SCOUSE B*!&*RD KILLS BELOVED FAMILY PET

11-03-06, 02:07 PM

Revamped old gems, still made me chuckle

10-03-06, 05:35 PM	#1
Sid Squid No, I don't lend tools. Mega Poster Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Skunk Works, Nth London Posts: 8,680	From Liverpool? Then don't read this. The manager of Liverpool FC sends scouts out round the World looking for a new striker to hopefully win Liverpool the title. One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So the manager flies to Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down at home to Man Utd with only twenty minutes left, and Liverpool's manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod to go on. The lad is a sensation, scores five goals in twenty minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for twenty minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored five and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me." "Great," says his Mum, "now let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were assualted and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time." The young lad is very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry". "Sorry?!?" says his Mum. "It's YOUR fault that we moved to Liverpool in the first place!" __________________ If an SV650 has a flat tyre in the forest and no-one is there to blow it up, how long will it be 'til someone posts that the reg/rec is duff and the world will end unless a CBR unit is fitted? A little bit of knowledge = a dangerous thing. "a deathless anthem of nuclear-strength romantic angst"

10-03-06, 06:44 PM	#4
Stingo Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Plymouth, Devon - mostly. Posts: 527	__________________ Twitter: @poseidon_ashore

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10-03-06, 05:53 PM	#2
jonboy Guest Posts: n/a	I suppose we shouldn't laugh though, well alright maybe just a little . .

11-03-06, 11:19 AM	#5
medwaysv Guest Posts: n/a	two young kids playing football on a field in manchester. a rotweiler being walked suddenly attacks one of the boys. the other lad finds a piece of scaffold pole and leaps in beating the dog to death. a local news paper reporter is walking by and see whats going on and rushes over. after find ing out that the boy who has been attacked has only suffered minor cuts,he turns round to the other lad and says this would make a graet headline for the manchester echo..i can see the headline now.. YOUNG LAD SAVES FREIND FROM VICSIOUS DOG....no,not dramatic enough...i know...MANCHESTER UNITED FAN SAVES FREIND FROM SAVAGE DOG. the hero pipes up and says...but i dont support manchester united. oh,oh..who do you support then,the young lad replies "liverpool" great shouts the reporter...this will make a great headline "SCOUSE B!&RD KILLS BELOVED FAMILY PET

11-03-06, 02:07 PM	#6
cosmiccharlie Guest Posts: n/a	Revamped old gems, still made me chuckle